How do new military wives best deal with the absence of their husbands?

I have only been married a couple of months and sometimes I get frustrated with how little my husband and I see/talk to each other. I know what I signed up for...and he is sooooo worth it...I guess I am wondering how to get through the hard times. I am trying to keep myself busy, but there are those moments when a certain song plays on the radio, a silent moment when driving down the street, a glimpse of his picture at work....I guess I just miss him and wish I could share what I am thinking at that moment. We had a year together before I had to get used to him being gone...so I kind of got used to having him around. I guess I just needed to throw this question/ statement out into the void and hope that there is someone who has some words of wisdom and words of strength to share. Thanks to all of our armed forces...especially to my husband!How do new military wives best deal with the absence of their husbands?
I am a military wife too and i know its rough, sometimes you feel like the mistress and the military is the ';real'; wife. My hubby has been gone for a while now and its been hard, and REALLY hard at times, but I've gotten through it mostly unscathed by doing a few things for myself every day, wether it be taking a bath, or sitting down with a cup of coffee and just taking some ';me time.'; If you feel like crying... DO IT, it doesn't help to let it buld up and build up cause when you finally let it out, it won't stop :) When you feel the urge to share a thought with him, shoot an email his way or write a quick note, letters don't have to be long to mean something. Also if you haven't already make other military wife friends, may sound like an obvious thing, yes, but it really helps to have friends that are going through the same thing, or have in the past, they listen and understand what you are going through. Don't listen to people that give you that ';well you knew what was going to happen when you got married'; JUST because you knew doesn't make it easy, and those people that play the ';my life is worse than yours'; game, don't play it with them. I don't care if the seperation is 2 weeks or 2 years it still hurts, and it is still hard, why the competition on whose life is worse.


Keep strong and be proud of yourself and how you are coping with everything and know that there are people who understand and will do their best to help you through the rough patches that we all have.


All My Best


B.How do new military wives best deal with the absence of their husbands?
Join the wives club. They have been there before and can give advice. They also make a wonderful support group.





Get a hobby that can be turned into a business. IE: Stained glass. That way you will have something to do and if worse comes to worse, you will have the start of a business.





Be faithful. Nothing can destroy the spirit of an entire unit than a guy getting a Dear John letter or finding out his wife is entertaining the Sixth Fleet.





Know that when he comes back, he may be a bit weird. Combat does that. If you found you can be totally independent with him gone, you need to have some way to show that he was needed. My wife use to let the house, cars and yard go totally to hell while I was gone so I had to fix stuff up and she was ever so thankful (hint hint) that I was back.





It takes a special woman (or man) to stick it out with a military spouse who gets sent off to war. Unfortunately that kind of person is getting to be more and more rare.





Divorce him while he is gone and you deserve all the unhappiness that will come your way. What goes around comes around.
make friends with some of the other military wives! usually they know how ur feeling and hang with ur kids...pick up a hobby and write letters and make calls!!!!
Join a wives club. I'm a mom with a son that is due home in Sept. Some of the things wives in our group did was fix up the house - new flooring, painting, etc. If you need a new bedroom set, surprise him with a new one and redo your bedroom. If you need to lose a few pounds, now is the time. Get webcams to see each other. Be understanding when he can't contact you daily, he has missions to run and probably a very unstable Internet.





In time you will have more ';good'; days than bad. Yes, that song will make you weepy, seeing that special couple walking down the street will remind you of the two of you, but in the end, you will be stronger for what you have lived through.
You need to get to know other military wives, you will have more in common then you may think, and they will know exactly where your coming from.
You go, BAM. That was about what I was going to say, too.





Those things that remind you of him (songs, pictures, other couples, the homecoming of all the submarines before yours...) will always make you weepy. Give yourself some time to give in and cry every once in a while. It doesn't make you weak, it just makes the hardships easier to bear.





It sounds like you've got the right idea with the job. It does help you stay busy. Consider learning or putting more time into hobbies. Not only does it give you something to fill your time but it also gives you something to talk to other people about and make more friends.





Those friends and family that make up your support network are the most vital though. Civilians are great friends but they don't always understand the military aspects of our lives. So I've always found it useful to maintain friends from a variety of walks of life. Some of my best friends have come from DH's boat's Family Readiness Group. FRG's are made up of women just like you and me who are going through the exact same thing at the exact same time. That understanding is sometimes priceless.





Other places you can make those military contacts are online. Both Yahoo Groups and MySpace have military groups for all services, just your branch and even down to your base or your unit. You can also search for groups anywhere you network already. I know iVillage has a military families group that used to be pretty good although I haven't used it in years.





Some other national groups:


http://www.cinchouse.com/


http://www.sgtmoms.com/home.asp


http://www.military.com/Community/Home/1鈥?/a>
It sounds hard, I've never experienced anything like that. But if he has access to internet, I'd suggest you two make some time to talk to each other, and maybe get webcams so you get to see each other?
It's tough. I'm fixing to go through it myself. I just signed a contract to go from reserves to active duty and will be going to Korea for a yr and won't see my fiance or 2 kids for a yr and I've known since the 3rd and there is nothing you can do to prepare yourself for the time away. I know from a fellow military mans view that the worst thing that can happen to us is get cheated on while we are gone. I know that first hand happened to me last yr when I was in basic and AIT. All I can tell you if he is deployed no new is good news.
I too am a military wife. My husband is away oftern (firefighter), so I cherish the time I spend with him. The best thing you could do to stay busy is to volunteer, get a job, or join a base spouses club.





Good luck!
There are two things that work...one listen to only happy music and two exercise alot....it will make you tired and keep you centered...i would swim and then walk two miles and then exercise on the bike for one to two hours...i became an exercise maniac it helped so much
I have a job and sometimes work longer hrs to get through the day when my husband is gone. I also hang out at the dog park with my friends and their dogs for a couple of hrs a day. I also do decorating projects and fix stuff around the house. I hang out with my closest friends who support me and my husband. I have been a military wife for 9 yrs and you seem to find more stuff to do or good people to be friends with the longer your in it. Always write to him email him and keep the communication lines open. He's missing you and thinking about just as much as you are about him. Support him in what ever he does and always listen. Sometimes they just need you to listen to them. Be there for him whenever he needs you.
join the desperate wives club or find yourself another man (of course, don't let your husband find out).
join too and then the military will do the best they can to get you stationed together. Or if you're smart you'll get your degree and then enlist as an officer so you can order him around.
Masturbation, and have him leave you voice-mails so you can listen to his voice when you get too lonely.
they have sexual relations with other men
I've seen plenty of wives get boyfriends while the hubby is on deployment. If you are going to do the same, make sure the boyfriend is out of your life a month or so ahead of time prior to his scheduled return. He may surprise you and come back earlier than expected so be prepared.





I'm getting a few thumbs down here. Well women very often get lonely while their hubby is gone, and a dog won't cut it. So someone has to say it.
BEST ADVICE: HAVE SEX WITH OTHER MEN COS UR JUST GOING TO ANYWAY. WOMEN ARE DOGS LIKE THAT.
Get a divorce, I couldn't handle a husband/wife leaving me. Just how it is sometimes. Why did he join the millitary in the first place? 5 or more troops a day are dying in Iraq. Is it really worth it?