Ok, here is the deal. My wife and I finally separated after 20 years of marriage which has included infidelity on both sides, which we put behind us more or less. It has been the everyday arguing and failure to “get along” that separated us.
The biggest obstacle we have had to overcome is the differences in our sex drives. I’m always in high gear, and sex just really isn’t her thing. It never has been since we were married. Prior to separating, in an attempt to appease me, we started having it about three times a week. However, today while cleaning out some paperwork, I found her journal. I KNOW I SHOUDN’T HAVE READ IT, BUT !!!! She wrote that “the sex has to slow down because the more we have it, the less I want it”.
Now before I get personally bashed over this, it’s not about the quality of sex from either of us, it’s the quantity and desire for it.
My question is this: Knowing this is, and always will be a MAJOR hurdle and the root of many of my frustrations, am I supposed to live the next twenty years going with whatever she decides to dish out? I mean how much is normal or too much in a week?
How much sex per week is average, and is too little a deal breaker?
I am in your boat but the oars are in the other hand.
I have been with my fiance for 2 years we are getting married next year. I only want sex once a week but he can go weeks (currently we are at 3 weeks right now). BUT I had an 8 year relationship prior to my fiance where sex was completely not my thing. It was only my thing in my current relationship.
Normal is a hard one to explain. HEALTHY for everyone, I guess statistically speaking is about once or twice a week. Normal is whatever you and your partner naturally do on a regular basis. Although, if two people with matched sex drives have sex once a month and are happy with it, then that can be normal and healthy too.
If she is feeling pressured I would back off and wait until she comes on to you. As much as I hate admitting this, this is the best method to start with. If she doesn't come on to you in a week or two I would sit down and have a talk with her - emotion free. No anger, no sadness.
Good luck with this situation. I feel your pain.How much sex per week is average, and is too little a deal breaker?
I've been married for 6 months, and have a 5 month old boy...yah do the math...lol Anyway we have sex at least 5 or 6 times a week. And it's been like that since we got together 2 years ago. My sex drive is unusually high for a woman, and his is right up there too...we're in our 30's and couldn't be happier. I could handle more, but with a baby I think we're doing pretty well.
I don't think that there is a normal. It is different at different times in a married life. Sometimes we go several days or a week or two without. Sometimes we ';get together'; every day for a week.
so it would be hard to say what is average.
Once per week minimum (even if she hates it).
Once per month, or if she is withholding sex is reason for sex therapy/marriage counseling. If after counseling things do not improve - she she be left with a knitting needle and granny panties.
Start hiding your money.
I like it alot but he is not as into it as I am i would say I want it about 5 times a week were he is only wanting it maybe twice a week
From my experience, when I was young and wanted it more my wife was OK with it but not really into it. I can't complain, overall she was just wonderful in bed. Now that we're in our late 40's the hormones have changed and she's definitely wanting it more than me. I'm trying to keep up. I did some research and this is common. So perhaps your wife will change in time.
It is very hard to enjoy life when your sexual desires aren't being fulfilled, and even harder for people to communicate what they want sexually to their partner. Despite almost 30 years of active sex life my wife and I still don't really understand each other in bed. But the sex is good and that means we still have room to grow.
One last thing, I wouldn't read to much into one, or even a few comments or journal entrys. We all get in moods and say or do things that we don't really feel later. It's just a moment in time.
Besides those insights, all I can really do is wish you luck.
Since you've finally separated you actually don't have to go at all without. Normal is what's normal for you. Your wife needs more time in between to build up her desire. She could be there for you however. Most of us older guys tend to see this. Still, I'm 57 and manage to get my wife in the mood 3 times a week. I'd like more myself but I take what I can get. If you can live with it then stay. Otherwise get out.
wow...Im young so my answer for you will be different. But my boyfriend and i have sex usually everyday at least once. I suppose it will die down in a few years but im sure that we'll have sex at least 3 times a week as you said. I would say that 3 times-1 time a week is normal. I honestly think there is no such thing as too much sex. But if you two are to be together, i suggest going into some type of counseling, sexual counseling. It might be a biological problem with her sex drive.
Friday, August 20, 2010
How do I deal with my wife?
My wife of 3 months is insane. We dated for 3 years before getting married and I thought it was the best thing. The three years we dated we had sex atleast 3 times a week and she would do anything I wanted sexually. On our wedding day,she was very distant and we hardly talked to each other. When we got home that night I tried to make a few moves on her and she stated ';None of that anymore,we're married'; I figured she was joking,but she wasnt. We went on a cruise for our honeymoon and not once did we get intimate. We're both young couples (I'm 27,she's 23). Since we returned home,she goes to church every Sunday,which I have no problem with,but she's turned into a ';holy roller'; follwing the bible to a ';T';. Before we got married I told her that I don't like to attend church because we're both raised Catholic and I dont believe in our religion and the things they say and do. Every Sunday she makes a big fuss about me not going with her,but I tell her,';You knew that before we got married';. She says that the only time we can have sex is when we're trying to conceive a baby,other than that,it's a sin. Her parents are sorta ';holy rollers'; as well,and her parents put that fear into her that she may not go to heaven if she kept living that lifestyle(which by no means was bad) How do i deal with this? Serious responses onlyHow do I deal with my wife?
maybe she want's a baby? it sounds a bit odd to be honest. try talking to her about how uncomfortable and unhappy she's making you, don't emphasise on the fact that your physical needs aren't being met but more that you feel she has changed.
p.s. a marriage that isn't consumated doesn't count in the eyes of god.How do I deal with my wife?
Wow... that sounds awful, one the main reasons for getting married is the available sex at any time.
I would start explaining to her that sex is not only to conceive and she should start fulfilling her 'marital obligations'... you are a man and you have needs and actually her having sex before marriage was sinning. So she has already laid out her path to hell when she had sex with you before marriage... something with her changed once that ring went on her finger... im so sorry to hear about this nightmare... maybe you can go to the pastor or minister at your church to discuss this. They might be able to relieve her sense of sinning with sex and show her it is a marital obligation, nothing bad. good luck.
WOW... umm.. I don't even know what to say. Thats a HUGE overnight change. Jeez... seriously.. I don't know what to say. Divorce? Annulment? although if you have consumated your marriage its different.. BUT if you haven't had sex since you've been married you can actually annul a marriage if she hasn't ';put out';.
again.. WOW!
You probably have grounds for annulment. If you have not had sex since you got married, you have grounds since the marriage was not consummated. You may also have grounds since it appears you were married under false pretenses, i.e. tricked into getting married. Check with a lawyer. You been had. You may want to keep some records about current conversations, and try and remember and record ones prior to the marriage.
Easy. Secretly get a vasectomy, and then ';try to conceive a baby'; every night for the next 20 years.
I see it like this, have a talk with her about the cituation and then once u do that use reverse cycology if that doesnt work then start going to the strip club or out with your friends and one day u plain to go out she might ask u to stay home to do that try it out and email me in the mourning im a doctor mane.lol
Well I think that you should like your wife for who she is. your a jerk if u like her for a sexual reason. Except her religious views. Or you can talk to her about it.
Did she think sex was a sin before you got married? If this is a new ';philosophy'; of hers I would say it is grounds for an annulment. Sex is a vital part of marriage. There are always peaks and valleys but it is truly a neccessity (among many other things) for a strong marriage. It is very concerning that only after 3 months this is how things are going. Sometimes people change after getting married. I was married previously and my ex-husband changed the moment I said ';I do';. I hope this works out for the two of you but if it doesn't, do not let it sour you on all marriage. My current hubby did not change a bit and I have been very happily married for 4 1/2 yrs.
So it was okay to have premarital sex, but no sex when you're married??? What the hell is that??? I'm sorry but she sounds crazy and if I were you I would get out of that as soon as possible. It sounds like she was going along with whatever to trap you into marriage.
She's a hypocrite. If she's not giving you sex, start looking for it elsewhere.
I would Holy Roll away from her while you are still young. And I'm serious.
You will miss out on a lot of life if you stay with her. She is a selfish person who believes in the doctrine of fantasy.
Good luck.
ask her why she was a sex animal before you got married, and why she doesn't want have sex anymore.
if all else fails have loads of kids
Wow this is something....Well I'm sorry to hear about your wife and her all of a sudden holiness but I think that she should have showed you some kinds of signs before you all got married...This is crazy that you all got married and didn't do anything on your wedding night not even honeymoon and before it was 3 times a day...She just woke up the next day after marriage and decided that she wasn't going to give you any at all??? I find that real strange but in any case I would have a face to face with her and go all the way back from when you both dated...Let her know that this isn't want was expected and she should realize that married people have sex. she should also probably have a talk with her pastor so he or she can explain what the wife's duties are....If she's really in to the bible as you say this will help her get out of the way she is in and put things to light...I mean no disrepect when I say you need to help her and get things taken care of because I'm sure this was a shock to you...
Your wife is confusing religion and self-proclaimed ';holiness'; with not being about to have marital sexual relations. My husband and I are Christians, and in our church we preach from the Bible. Clearly, it states that sex between a married man and a woman should be enjoyed to the capacity of both people. There is nothing dirty about married sex or anything involved in it for that couple's enjoyment. That's what God created sex for, for our pleasure. Relgious attitudes tend to confuse what is ';right'; and not. Tell her to read the Bible, especially Corinthians. Good luck!
As adam is made for hana,a wife made for husband and vice versa.it's not a sin by doing sex with your own wife at least you do with other people that is not your wife.I am prostestan but i knew that sex between married couple is not a sin.Talk to your wife and discuss about the problem nicely and there's should be gives and takes.or,your wife might hide something from you,you should ask your wife.She might afraid to tell you because afraid that you might get hurt feelings.
Let me tell you. I am a Christian a bible follower and I would say a holy roller, who just got married four months ago. I love being intimate with my husband - it's something very special we share that solidifies us as husband and wife. We are firm believers that sex only strengthens your marriage.
I would highly recommend the book The Act of Marriage. It's a bible based, Christian book about the importance of sex between a husband and a wife. Your wife (and you) may learn how special sexual intimacy is from the book.
sit her down and tell her how you feel and that you want t divorce because she is trying to change you into something your not when she knew before the marriage and if she wants to keep you in the marriage she needs to start listening and do things to fix the marriage.
Go to a Christian marriage counselor. He/She will be respectful toward your views toward religion and also be able to deal with your wife's issues.
so start telling her you want to try conceiving a BABY........
Otherwise...get an annulment.
On the assumption that you are telling the truth, and the whole story I would say that your wife is having a crisis coming to terms with her being 'unequally yolked' to someone she has come to regard as a nonbeliever.
First I recommend that you ask her to arrange a meeting with her Pastor or Marriage Counsellor at the Church [You don't say which church denomination, so it is difficult to say this would be a good thing] you should both be there.
Ask them to provide you with the scripture references to support their position, if they actually agree with your wife. If not have them explain to you both how your wife should regard your relationship.
Be calm - however, provoked you feel.
If the outcome of such a meeting is unproductive then ask again, giving the churches reply.
Get a divorce NOW before you have children. This only gets worse! You can not win this one you have to get away from her!
Biblicly speaking, she needs to obey her husband and please you. Having sex to conceive only is not what God intended. It is to be fun. Have her read the bible. I feel for you man, thats got to be terrible. Try and romance her up a bit and try. If not, tell her if she isnt going to please you, you will go find it somewhere else.
Seriously, though, I wouldnt go other places. You will have to convince her somehow. good luck
Have you tried talking to her about this and letting her know how you feel. Honestly if you both aren't on the same page it is going to be hard to work things out.
Ok, 3 times a week can be a little tiring for a female lol, maybe she is enjoying the time off. From experience, I know that I've felt scared not to have sex with my fiance because he might not want to stay with me if he isn't getting it. Ha! Not anymore, he gets it about once a week, sometimes more. What your wife wants though is you to support her in her decision to go to church, that doesn't mean go with her all the time but ask her about it, tell her you'd like to concider finding a church you both like and go. And if she only wants to have sex when trying to conceive a baby, well if you want it that bad, you better want a baby. Support her in what she choses to do, and maybe if you act like you don't want sex from her anymore, she'll come to you. And... communicating with each other, can be the key to all problems, talk to her about it, if she doesn't chose to listen, maybe you should suggest marriage counseling. :) Good luck!
I'm sorry to say, but like the first person who answered you do have grounds for an anullment.
I think you need to suggest counseling. You both had expectations for marriage that apparently neither of you are fulfilling. You can't spend the rest of your life unhappy and unsatisfied.
WOW,this is hard to even read it,I cant even imagine how can 2 young people not be having sex,and the sad part is that u just started as a married couple.
U have to think about it seriously and if u think she's not going to change then move on,u're very young and u'll find somebody else.
OK,email me...
What a psycho!!!!!!!!! What is wrong w/ her????
Post an update tomorrow!
Tell her you thought you married the woman you dated but she seems completely different now and you don't feel like you know her. Tell her sex is a way to show your love for your spouse and God created it for more than just making babies. Ask her to go to counseling with you.
get shut of her. aarrgghhh a total nightmare.
maybe she want's a baby? it sounds a bit odd to be honest. try talking to her about how uncomfortable and unhappy she's making you, don't emphasise on the fact that your physical needs aren't being met but more that you feel she has changed.
p.s. a marriage that isn't consumated doesn't count in the eyes of god.How do I deal with my wife?
Wow... that sounds awful, one the main reasons for getting married is the available sex at any time.
I would start explaining to her that sex is not only to conceive and she should start fulfilling her 'marital obligations'... you are a man and you have needs and actually her having sex before marriage was sinning. So she has already laid out her path to hell when she had sex with you before marriage... something with her changed once that ring went on her finger... im so sorry to hear about this nightmare... maybe you can go to the pastor or minister at your church to discuss this. They might be able to relieve her sense of sinning with sex and show her it is a marital obligation, nothing bad. good luck.
WOW... umm.. I don't even know what to say. Thats a HUGE overnight change. Jeez... seriously.. I don't know what to say. Divorce? Annulment? although if you have consumated your marriage its different.. BUT if you haven't had sex since you've been married you can actually annul a marriage if she hasn't ';put out';.
again.. WOW!
You probably have grounds for annulment. If you have not had sex since you got married, you have grounds since the marriage was not consummated. You may also have grounds since it appears you were married under false pretenses, i.e. tricked into getting married. Check with a lawyer. You been had. You may want to keep some records about current conversations, and try and remember and record ones prior to the marriage.
Easy. Secretly get a vasectomy, and then ';try to conceive a baby'; every night for the next 20 years.
I see it like this, have a talk with her about the cituation and then once u do that use reverse cycology if that doesnt work then start going to the strip club or out with your friends and one day u plain to go out she might ask u to stay home to do that try it out and email me in the mourning im a doctor mane.lol
Well I think that you should like your wife for who she is. your a jerk if u like her for a sexual reason. Except her religious views. Or you can talk to her about it.
Did she think sex was a sin before you got married? If this is a new ';philosophy'; of hers I would say it is grounds for an annulment. Sex is a vital part of marriage. There are always peaks and valleys but it is truly a neccessity (among many other things) for a strong marriage. It is very concerning that only after 3 months this is how things are going. Sometimes people change after getting married. I was married previously and my ex-husband changed the moment I said ';I do';. I hope this works out for the two of you but if it doesn't, do not let it sour you on all marriage. My current hubby did not change a bit and I have been very happily married for 4 1/2 yrs.
So it was okay to have premarital sex, but no sex when you're married??? What the hell is that??? I'm sorry but she sounds crazy and if I were you I would get out of that as soon as possible. It sounds like she was going along with whatever to trap you into marriage.
She's a hypocrite. If she's not giving you sex, start looking for it elsewhere.
I would Holy Roll away from her while you are still young. And I'm serious.
You will miss out on a lot of life if you stay with her. She is a selfish person who believes in the doctrine of fantasy.
Good luck.
ask her why she was a sex animal before you got married, and why she doesn't want have sex anymore.
if all else fails have loads of kids
Wow this is something....Well I'm sorry to hear about your wife and her all of a sudden holiness but I think that she should have showed you some kinds of signs before you all got married...This is crazy that you all got married and didn't do anything on your wedding night not even honeymoon and before it was 3 times a day...She just woke up the next day after marriage and decided that she wasn't going to give you any at all??? I find that real strange but in any case I would have a face to face with her and go all the way back from when you both dated...Let her know that this isn't want was expected and she should realize that married people have sex. she should also probably have a talk with her pastor so he or she can explain what the wife's duties are....If she's really in to the bible as you say this will help her get out of the way she is in and put things to light...I mean no disrepect when I say you need to help her and get things taken care of because I'm sure this was a shock to you...
Your wife is confusing religion and self-proclaimed ';holiness'; with not being about to have marital sexual relations. My husband and I are Christians, and in our church we preach from the Bible. Clearly, it states that sex between a married man and a woman should be enjoyed to the capacity of both people. There is nothing dirty about married sex or anything involved in it for that couple's enjoyment. That's what God created sex for, for our pleasure. Relgious attitudes tend to confuse what is ';right'; and not. Tell her to read the Bible, especially Corinthians. Good luck!
As adam is made for hana,a wife made for husband and vice versa.it's not a sin by doing sex with your own wife at least you do with other people that is not your wife.I am prostestan but i knew that sex between married couple is not a sin.Talk to your wife and discuss about the problem nicely and there's should be gives and takes.or,your wife might hide something from you,you should ask your wife.She might afraid to tell you because afraid that you might get hurt feelings.
Let me tell you. I am a Christian a bible follower and I would say a holy roller, who just got married four months ago. I love being intimate with my husband - it's something very special we share that solidifies us as husband and wife. We are firm believers that sex only strengthens your marriage.
I would highly recommend the book The Act of Marriage. It's a bible based, Christian book about the importance of sex between a husband and a wife. Your wife (and you) may learn how special sexual intimacy is from the book.
sit her down and tell her how you feel and that you want t divorce because she is trying to change you into something your not when she knew before the marriage and if she wants to keep you in the marriage she needs to start listening and do things to fix the marriage.
Go to a Christian marriage counselor. He/She will be respectful toward your views toward religion and also be able to deal with your wife's issues.
so start telling her you want to try conceiving a BABY........
Otherwise...get an annulment.
On the assumption that you are telling the truth, and the whole story I would say that your wife is having a crisis coming to terms with her being 'unequally yolked' to someone she has come to regard as a nonbeliever.
First I recommend that you ask her to arrange a meeting with her Pastor or Marriage Counsellor at the Church [You don't say which church denomination, so it is difficult to say this would be a good thing] you should both be there.
Ask them to provide you with the scripture references to support their position, if they actually agree with your wife. If not have them explain to you both how your wife should regard your relationship.
Be calm - however, provoked you feel.
If the outcome of such a meeting is unproductive then ask again, giving the churches reply.
Get a divorce NOW before you have children. This only gets worse! You can not win this one you have to get away from her!
Biblicly speaking, she needs to obey her husband and please you. Having sex to conceive only is not what God intended. It is to be fun. Have her read the bible. I feel for you man, thats got to be terrible. Try and romance her up a bit and try. If not, tell her if she isnt going to please you, you will go find it somewhere else.
Seriously, though, I wouldnt go other places. You will have to convince her somehow. good luck
Have you tried talking to her about this and letting her know how you feel. Honestly if you both aren't on the same page it is going to be hard to work things out.
Ok, 3 times a week can be a little tiring for a female lol, maybe she is enjoying the time off. From experience, I know that I've felt scared not to have sex with my fiance because he might not want to stay with me if he isn't getting it. Ha! Not anymore, he gets it about once a week, sometimes more. What your wife wants though is you to support her in her decision to go to church, that doesn't mean go with her all the time but ask her about it, tell her you'd like to concider finding a church you both like and go. And if she only wants to have sex when trying to conceive a baby, well if you want it that bad, you better want a baby. Support her in what she choses to do, and maybe if you act like you don't want sex from her anymore, she'll come to you. And... communicating with each other, can be the key to all problems, talk to her about it, if she doesn't chose to listen, maybe you should suggest marriage counseling. :) Good luck!
I'm sorry to say, but like the first person who answered you do have grounds for an anullment.
I think you need to suggest counseling. You both had expectations for marriage that apparently neither of you are fulfilling. You can't spend the rest of your life unhappy and unsatisfied.
WOW,this is hard to even read it,I cant even imagine how can 2 young people not be having sex,and the sad part is that u just started as a married couple.
U have to think about it seriously and if u think she's not going to change then move on,u're very young and u'll find somebody else.
OK,email me...
What a psycho!!!!!!!!! What is wrong w/ her????
Post an update tomorrow!
Tell her you thought you married the woman you dated but she seems completely different now and you don't feel like you know her. Tell her sex is a way to show your love for your spouse and God created it for more than just making babies. Ask her to go to counseling with you.
get shut of her. aarrgghhh a total nightmare.
How do I deal with a wife that won't work and two stepsons that are spoiled brats?
I am married with 2 stepsons who can do no wrong. The oldest 16 has stolen money from me and lies daily. If I confront him, it always ends up an arguement with my wife. Both sons are spoiled and my wifes parents are a big part of this. I support the household by traveling 2 weeks at a time while they have the house all to theirselves. I care for her deeply but I don't know how to deal with this situation. If I mention her getting a job,,,, fight!!!! It seems that I am wasting away. I also have a daughter from a previous marriage. She is expecting a child in 2 months. If I mention making the 5 hour drive to visit her or take new baby furniture to her,,,, fight!!!! She thinks that since I married her, I am responsible for everything they need. And only them. I drive a company car and still keep her car and my pov insured and road ready and she uses both. Still it is, What can I do for them. She wants to give her car to her oldest son!! Divorce? What would a Judge do? Her parents are $$$$How do I deal with a wife that won't work and two stepsons that are spoiled brats?
There is a lot of understandable resentment in this question. You are being taken for granted, controlled, and also disrespected.
First of all, your daughter shouldn't be competition for your wife. All you can do is be straight with your wife, tell her that you love your daughter and you are going to see her, regardless. You have every right to. Forget the emotional manipulation.
As for asking your wife to work, sit down with her and show her the finances, in black and white. Explain to her that her extra income would mean a better quality of life for all of you and some financial independence for her. If she is still unwilling, then, unfortunately, you have an immature sponger on your hands.
Also explain that you care for, and will continue to, support your child. This is a ';no deal'; situation. If your wife is selfish enough not to understand why a man would provide for his daughter, there is something wrong in her character.
As for the stepsons. There needs to be some sort of groundrules that apply to the home. Have sanctions and apply them. It's best to do this with your wife's consent. Again, explain to her that the boy who steals needs to have some kind of consequence to his actions. He is nearly a grown man. If it isn't tackled now, even at this late stage, then it doesn't bode well for his future. If he steals, he pays it back, you cut allowances, you ground him, etc. End of.
As for the car - tell her it isn't hers to give away. Perhaps you can negotiate on this - i.e. you see real improvement from him and he can have it as a reward, in a year from now. That's an incentive, isn't it?
A lot of these problems have arisen because you are not being ';head of the house';. You are giving in to your wife's demands and arguments. This is leading to disrespect from her. Both of you, ideally, should be in an equal partnership, with both of you at the helm, playing your roles. She knows she can get away with her temper tantrums because you give in just to get some peace.
If you can't get constructive solutions going, citing the overall benefits in terms your wife understands and accepts, then maybe you will have to take the route you suggest. Good luck.How do I deal with a wife that won't work and two stepsons that are spoiled brats?
Didn't you discuss this before you got married?
Are you complaining because she doesn't work and you do? I ask this because you seem to be kinda whining because you HAVE to work and provide for the family. If her kids are spoiled
as you say, you had to have known this before you got married. If you can't deal with the situation, then you need to decide what is important to you. You say you're daughter is having a baby, well she's your daughter and she needs to understand you want to do things for her also and the baby. If she can't understand that then the two of you are probably better off apart
This is the reason people should discuss all these things in advance.
its called DIVORCE. since her parents have money and the kids cant do no wrong than they all need to be together. and you need to be a dad to your daughter and a wonderful grandpa to the grandbaby. and live your life without the headaches of this woman and her brats. life is too short to be married and unhappy with a trifling wife and her trifling kids. divorce her and live your life. GodBless
well i would so get a divorce but first quit your job. since she is used to that life style she will ask for it to stay that way and more than likely get it if you dont quit your job or take a brake or something like that. also go visit your daughter regardless if it causes a fight thats is your baby and grandbaby, if she loves you then she has to understand that your baby just like you take care of her brats. good luck.
Sounds like your wife's parents are playing a big role in the fact that your wife and her sons are brats. I would break it off and take my losses. How can you live your life always being wrong and being disrespected all the time? If she shows you no respect then her children won't either. Let her parents take her crap. You don't have to.
Fight with her who cares. Go see your daughter. Get a back bone. If she doesn't let up, get a divorce. Don't let someone take advantage of you. Good luck.
No matter what - get a good lawyer. Get out of this dysfunctional marriage. It isn't healthy for you.
Run really fast, let her parents pay her way and her brats
GET OUT OF THERE. LIFE IS WAY TOO SHORT.
ALSO TO THE OTHER GUYS OUT THERE: DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GET INVOLVED WITH A WOMAN WHO HAS CHILDREN THAT ARE NOT YOURS!!
NOTHING BUT PROBLEMS, AND WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WANTS TO BE AROUND SOME OTHER GUY'S KIDS ANYWAY?
First of all, do not expect to be second to your stepsons in your wife's eyes---especially when the oldest is approaching adulthood and is obviously capable of manipulation. Your wife promised to love you and be your partner....this means that she should be considering everything you have to say even if it is something painful regarding her child. The two of you should be a team, tackling these issues together.
Second, do not let a woman that holds her children at high esteem convince you to treat your daughter any differently! Invite her to go along with you, but if she refuses you need to visit your daughter anyway. I think part of the issue is that you are the sugar daddy and you are never around to really set up your position in that house. Counseling may help, but you've got to put your foot down somehow. Cut her off financially and tell her that those children are really not your complete responsibility---they are hers!
No one is perfect. Did you marry her for a second income or because you loved her and vowed to take care of her?
The work load is your Responsibility as a Man, Husband. The House load, raising kids is her responsibility as a Woman, Wife.
Step kids? Well, second marriages are hard, but Not impossible. Show your Wife Love, Understanding and Support. If you do not want her, there is another man out there waiting to fill your shoes. (plain truth).
You will find something wrong with the next Wife, the next wife, the next wife,etc... Because No one is Perfect!!!
Make your Marriage work because You are worth it, She is worth it and Your Marriage is worth it.
This should shed some light and give some help to you. God Bless.
http://www.loveandrespect.org
http://www.marriagetoday.org
http://marriagerestorationministries.org
why would you marry a woman who wont help support her own kids? this is not the 50s. familys can not make it financially with the stay at home mom. get a decent lawyer. if you live in a communal property state be prepared to lose half what you own and maybe pay maintenance or alimony. far as her brats go you are not legally obligated to them after they turn 18. kick em out.
If your not happy leave then. She sounds spoiled her self. Let her parents take care of her lazy butt.
Doesn't sound like a very good deal to me. What's in it for you? To have to put your daughter on the back burner is wrong and very selfish of your wife. If she refuses to help out with finances and expects you to deal with her spoiled unruly boys, how can this be amicable for you when she's just as rotten as her kids. We all make mistakes and it's OK to admit that you may have made one in marrying her.
Her parents are wealthy so if you split so you can maintain your own sanity, she %26amp; the boys will be taken care of. Marriage is not a one way street, it's not all about her. You've got a grandbaby on the way and it sounds like your wife will keep you from being involved in what should be a wonderful and exciting time in your life. Don't let her steal that from you. I hate recommending divorce, but this situation just seems really unfair and will probably stay that way. Good luck
First of all your daughter needs you more now than ever go visit her by yourself forget the wife and the brats.But you are not to choose between your kids and her kids.They are all equal no matter what the ages are.You work and buy for her kids it you job and you make it then get a back bone and do for you own kids.Stop doing so much for her and let her do without and let the brats do with out , its plain to see there is no RESPECT at all from none of them to you.make sure you walet if with you at all times do not leave money lying around and if your wife loves you as she should she will work with you and not against you and she will tell her parents to back off ,if she does not then she and her two brats can go and live with granny and pappy.Sounds to me that she is the spoiled one and it has carried over to her two sons and she needs to grow up may be some of the problem from her first marriage ,spoiled brats and buttin parents who think because they have $$$$$ they controll whom ever...No ,you need to take control of your house hold and be the man and get a back bone and speak up STOP LETTING HER AND HER BRATS AND PARENTS WALK ALL OVER YOU!!! and if she and them don't like it then show them the door.Stop providing the insurance make it to where only you and her are the only dirvers covered on the cars,if that wont work then let her pay her own. Yes I would file for Divorce,as far as a judge goes you will not pay child support for the two brat sons she has and you can fight allimony and who had the house that you live in first if you then file to keep it if she wants it then let her pay for it, if the car is not paid for let her pay for it and the insurance.I don't think granny and pappy are going to let thier little spoiled brat and brant grand kids do with out that seems to be the problem now ........You are not responsible for her kids and everything they need she is they are from a previous marriage....where is thier dad ,does she get child support from him for the brats.....if so then that is to help out in the household where ever needed to take care of them......let it be phone,tv,food,elec.car paymt.insurance that is for there benifit not for her and the brats to blow.....and if you have no kids with her that is yours and hers from this marriage then you are not out alot.......Granny and Pappy made this mess then let them have all 3 brats back and you pull yourself up and focus on your daughter and the new grandbaby that is due very soon,I understand now why your daughter lives 5 hours away Best of Luck to you and your daughter and grandchild........have respect for your self and get out now......You never said how long you have been married to this lady and the brat sons?????
Not by getting angry!
You married her knowing full well what the situations was, so why are you complaining now?
Your problems are yours to fix. Now do it.
Good luck.
There is a lot of understandable resentment in this question. You are being taken for granted, controlled, and also disrespected.
First of all, your daughter shouldn't be competition for your wife. All you can do is be straight with your wife, tell her that you love your daughter and you are going to see her, regardless. You have every right to. Forget the emotional manipulation.
As for asking your wife to work, sit down with her and show her the finances, in black and white. Explain to her that her extra income would mean a better quality of life for all of you and some financial independence for her. If she is still unwilling, then, unfortunately, you have an immature sponger on your hands.
Also explain that you care for, and will continue to, support your child. This is a ';no deal'; situation. If your wife is selfish enough not to understand why a man would provide for his daughter, there is something wrong in her character.
As for the stepsons. There needs to be some sort of groundrules that apply to the home. Have sanctions and apply them. It's best to do this with your wife's consent. Again, explain to her that the boy who steals needs to have some kind of consequence to his actions. He is nearly a grown man. If it isn't tackled now, even at this late stage, then it doesn't bode well for his future. If he steals, he pays it back, you cut allowances, you ground him, etc. End of.
As for the car - tell her it isn't hers to give away. Perhaps you can negotiate on this - i.e. you see real improvement from him and he can have it as a reward, in a year from now. That's an incentive, isn't it?
A lot of these problems have arisen because you are not being ';head of the house';. You are giving in to your wife's demands and arguments. This is leading to disrespect from her. Both of you, ideally, should be in an equal partnership, with both of you at the helm, playing your roles. She knows she can get away with her temper tantrums because you give in just to get some peace.
If you can't get constructive solutions going, citing the overall benefits in terms your wife understands and accepts, then maybe you will have to take the route you suggest. Good luck.How do I deal with a wife that won't work and two stepsons that are spoiled brats?
Didn't you discuss this before you got married?
Are you complaining because she doesn't work and you do? I ask this because you seem to be kinda whining because you HAVE to work and provide for the family. If her kids are spoiled
as you say, you had to have known this before you got married. If you can't deal with the situation, then you need to decide what is important to you. You say you're daughter is having a baby, well she's your daughter and she needs to understand you want to do things for her also and the baby. If she can't understand that then the two of you are probably better off apart
This is the reason people should discuss all these things in advance.
its called DIVORCE. since her parents have money and the kids cant do no wrong than they all need to be together. and you need to be a dad to your daughter and a wonderful grandpa to the grandbaby. and live your life without the headaches of this woman and her brats. life is too short to be married and unhappy with a trifling wife and her trifling kids. divorce her and live your life. GodBless
well i would so get a divorce but first quit your job. since she is used to that life style she will ask for it to stay that way and more than likely get it if you dont quit your job or take a brake or something like that. also go visit your daughter regardless if it causes a fight thats is your baby and grandbaby, if she loves you then she has to understand that your baby just like you take care of her brats. good luck.
Sounds like your wife's parents are playing a big role in the fact that your wife and her sons are brats. I would break it off and take my losses. How can you live your life always being wrong and being disrespected all the time? If she shows you no respect then her children won't either. Let her parents take her crap. You don't have to.
Fight with her who cares. Go see your daughter. Get a back bone. If she doesn't let up, get a divorce. Don't let someone take advantage of you. Good luck.
No matter what - get a good lawyer. Get out of this dysfunctional marriage. It isn't healthy for you.
Run really fast, let her parents pay her way and her brats
GET OUT OF THERE. LIFE IS WAY TOO SHORT.
ALSO TO THE OTHER GUYS OUT THERE: DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GET INVOLVED WITH A WOMAN WHO HAS CHILDREN THAT ARE NOT YOURS!!
NOTHING BUT PROBLEMS, AND WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WANTS TO BE AROUND SOME OTHER GUY'S KIDS ANYWAY?
First of all, do not expect to be second to your stepsons in your wife's eyes---especially when the oldest is approaching adulthood and is obviously capable of manipulation. Your wife promised to love you and be your partner....this means that she should be considering everything you have to say even if it is something painful regarding her child. The two of you should be a team, tackling these issues together.
Second, do not let a woman that holds her children at high esteem convince you to treat your daughter any differently! Invite her to go along with you, but if she refuses you need to visit your daughter anyway. I think part of the issue is that you are the sugar daddy and you are never around to really set up your position in that house. Counseling may help, but you've got to put your foot down somehow. Cut her off financially and tell her that those children are really not your complete responsibility---they are hers!
No one is perfect. Did you marry her for a second income or because you loved her and vowed to take care of her?
The work load is your Responsibility as a Man, Husband. The House load, raising kids is her responsibility as a Woman, Wife.
Step kids? Well, second marriages are hard, but Not impossible. Show your Wife Love, Understanding and Support. If you do not want her, there is another man out there waiting to fill your shoes. (plain truth).
You will find something wrong with the next Wife, the next wife, the next wife,etc... Because No one is Perfect!!!
Make your Marriage work because You are worth it, She is worth it and Your Marriage is worth it.
This should shed some light and give some help to you. God Bless.
http://www.loveandrespect.org
http://www.marriagetoday.org
http://marriagerestorationministries.org
why would you marry a woman who wont help support her own kids? this is not the 50s. familys can not make it financially with the stay at home mom. get a decent lawyer. if you live in a communal property state be prepared to lose half what you own and maybe pay maintenance or alimony. far as her brats go you are not legally obligated to them after they turn 18. kick em out.
If your not happy leave then. She sounds spoiled her self. Let her parents take care of her lazy butt.
Doesn't sound like a very good deal to me. What's in it for you? To have to put your daughter on the back burner is wrong and very selfish of your wife. If she refuses to help out with finances and expects you to deal with her spoiled unruly boys, how can this be amicable for you when she's just as rotten as her kids. We all make mistakes and it's OK to admit that you may have made one in marrying her.
Her parents are wealthy so if you split so you can maintain your own sanity, she %26amp; the boys will be taken care of. Marriage is not a one way street, it's not all about her. You've got a grandbaby on the way and it sounds like your wife will keep you from being involved in what should be a wonderful and exciting time in your life. Don't let her steal that from you. I hate recommending divorce, but this situation just seems really unfair and will probably stay that way. Good luck
First of all your daughter needs you more now than ever go visit her by yourself forget the wife and the brats.But you are not to choose between your kids and her kids.They are all equal no matter what the ages are.You work and buy for her kids it you job and you make it then get a back bone and do for you own kids.Stop doing so much for her and let her do without and let the brats do with out , its plain to see there is no RESPECT at all from none of them to you.make sure you walet if with you at all times do not leave money lying around and if your wife loves you as she should she will work with you and not against you and she will tell her parents to back off ,if she does not then she and her two brats can go and live with granny and pappy.Sounds to me that she is the spoiled one and it has carried over to her two sons and she needs to grow up may be some of the problem from her first marriage ,spoiled brats and buttin parents who think because they have $$$$$ they controll whom ever...No ,you need to take control of your house hold and be the man and get a back bone and speak up STOP LETTING HER AND HER BRATS AND PARENTS WALK ALL OVER YOU!!! and if she and them don't like it then show them the door.Stop providing the insurance make it to where only you and her are the only dirvers covered on the cars,if that wont work then let her pay her own. Yes I would file for Divorce,as far as a judge goes you will not pay child support for the two brat sons she has and you can fight allimony and who had the house that you live in first if you then file to keep it if she wants it then let her pay for it, if the car is not paid for let her pay for it and the insurance.I don't think granny and pappy are going to let thier little spoiled brat and brant grand kids do with out that seems to be the problem now ........You are not responsible for her kids and everything they need she is they are from a previous marriage....where is thier dad ,does she get child support from him for the brats.....if so then that is to help out in the household where ever needed to take care of them......let it be phone,tv,food,elec.car paymt.insurance that is for there benifit not for her and the brats to blow.....and if you have no kids with her that is yours and hers from this marriage then you are not out alot.......Granny and Pappy made this mess then let them have all 3 brats back and you pull yourself up and focus on your daughter and the new grandbaby that is due very soon,I understand now why your daughter lives 5 hours away Best of Luck to you and your daughter and grandchild........have respect for your self and get out now......You never said how long you have been married to this lady and the brat sons?????
Not by getting angry!
You married her knowing full well what the situations was, so why are you complaining now?
Your problems are yours to fix. Now do it.
Good luck.
How does a man deal with a wife who is like this?
You're out for lunch with your wife and kid. The wife asks a question that confuses you. You say ';what?'; She starts accusing you of not listening. You tell her you were confused because she said ';A, B and C.'; She denies she said ';A, B and C.'; She then says your kid said ';A, B and C.'; Your child agrees with you that she did indeed say ';A, B and C.'; She still denies she asked ';A, B and C'; and says the kid said it and to drop it.
The whole premise of the marriage is to fix you and not her. She is perfect in everyday. She is INFALLIBLE! How do you deal with it?How does a man deal with a wife who is like this?
relax dude. i was at the next table, she didn't say A, B and C, she only said B and C. anyway, remember this for a good marriage. She is always RIGHT..
also, does your child want to live? better start agreeing with mom...
after you realize she is always right. go play some golf and have a couple of beer, or Scotch.How does a man deal with a wife who is like this?
what is A, B and C that would help a bit if you told us what she said because writing it like that just proves you were not listening to her LoL
just go out and say yes, I ignored you because your perfect and I'm not, so whatever comes out of my mouth would just be a jumbled mess and couldnt be worth your beautiful mess of perfectionism
You ignore her and eat lunch. It probably was over somethin minor and stupid, anyway.
Does she want a marriage or a whipped dog? Find those two round things in your pants and let her have it.
hahahahaha... lol chill man.. gotta relax have a beer..
u made my day dude .. lol.. i love how u explain everything usin A B C.. lol..hijackthis web development
The whole premise of the marriage is to fix you and not her. She is perfect in everyday. She is INFALLIBLE! How do you deal with it?How does a man deal with a wife who is like this?
relax dude. i was at the next table, she didn't say A, B and C, she only said B and C. anyway, remember this for a good marriage. She is always RIGHT..
also, does your child want to live? better start agreeing with mom...
after you realize she is always right. go play some golf and have a couple of beer, or Scotch.How does a man deal with a wife who is like this?
what is A, B and C that would help a bit if you told us what she said because writing it like that just proves you were not listening to her LoL
just go out and say yes, I ignored you because your perfect and I'm not, so whatever comes out of my mouth would just be a jumbled mess and couldnt be worth your beautiful mess of perfectionism
You ignore her and eat lunch. It probably was over somethin minor and stupid, anyway.
Does she want a marriage or a whipped dog? Find those two round things in your pants and let her have it.
hahahahaha... lol chill man.. gotta relax have a beer..
u made my day dude .. lol.. i love how u explain everything usin A B C.. lol..
How does one deal with an ex-wife who makes ludicrous accusations to keep you from seeing your child?
I have attempted to visit my 11 year old child several times this past year with no luck. She is in contempt of court and I have a lawyer and am taking her to court but not before she serves me with papers making accusations that I am basically a perverted drunk and I make my daughter uncomfortable (thats the clean version). I pay child support and I have a great relationship with my daughter when we are together, and I am in the medical profession. There are so many dead beat fathers out there that get to see their children all the time, why must I go through this BS when I do everything I can to be a good dad. How can I deal with such an evil person???How does one deal with an ex-wife who makes ludicrous accusations to keep you from seeing your child?
Start recording all your phone conversations and keep a diary of the dates and times you've tried to see your child. Look up 'Parent Alienation Sydrome' on the internet too. It's actually very common. She is no doubt brain washing your child too. Hopefully the courts will interview your child while your wife is NOT in the room. They will have court appointed child psychologists for that, who can determine if your ex is saying derogatory things about you to your child. Don't worry...they will either take the child from her and give her to you, or they will FORCE the Mom to allow you your visitation. They may even make Mom take supervised visitations.How does one deal with an ex-wife who makes ludicrous accusations to keep you from seeing your child?
She will tip her hand one day and all the lies she is telling will be known. Let the courts handle it for now, in the long run you will come out ahead. I know a few guys personally that have gone through the same thing and even though it was hard not to see their kids it has paid off today. One even got full custody of his daughter because the court ruled the mother was unfit in her behavior towards the father.
An eleven year old is old enough to speak for herself, and let's hope that she is not making ';ludicrous'; accusations like her mom. And it doesn't matter what profession you are in, that does not exempt you or anyone else from pedophilia or child molestation.
Anywhoooooo, how you deal with it is with a lawyer and a judge, I think you are doing the right thing in that area, but your comparisons to other people (deadbeat dads for egs) make me go ';ugh';.
You don't have to deal with the wife (the evil person) you have to deal with yourself and your daughter so that you can achieve whatever outcome your heart truly desires.
I can only tell you that I'm so sorry. Your ex doesn't seem to understand some very basic fundamentals about having children - especially daughters. Daughters need their dads so much!
I am divorced with three daughters. My ex is a lawyer and didn't even want children, let alone do one single thing to raise them (they are all teenagers now). I would give absolutely anything for them to have a relationship with their father. He cannot be made to understand that he has devastated their lives by not being there for them - ever.
I'm telling you, I do not understand these vindictive women who try to keep the kids away from their ex - who absolutely needs to be a part of their lives. Very controlling!!!
the same way you would deal with an ex-husband doing the same thing .. you just deal with it.. stand your ground for the childs sake and dont do anything stupid to make it look like you're vengeful and hateful to the ex because in time the way they are acting to make you look bad will only backfire and make everyone see their true selves..
sounds like you are doing the right thing with your lawyer and such.. just don't give up for your daughters sake.. things will work out in time..
Call her or email her and ask her what does she want from you in order to see your daughter. If you pay child support, and it is court ordered just ask her plain in simple if it's not a problem with the money, and if a judge granted it what exactly does she want. Talk in a low tone, and no matter how upset she gets I would not let that change my tone of voice. If she says all the stuff that you were only able to give us the clean version of then tell her you have a lawyer, and you are willing to go to court on the accusations she is alleging. Tell her if I have to face a judge because of your accusations in order to see my daughter then that's what I will do. Then say to her once that is all over, and those accusations prove to be false then what else will you have to do in order to see your daughter. If she says nothing then I would leave it alone because as long as you two go back in forth she is going to always make you out to be the bad person in front of your daughter. I would write your daughter a letter, and take it to her school, and have the front office give it to her ';not you'; but make sure you tell them who you are, and let her know on a child's level the discussion you had with her mother, and let her know that ';you'; are not the reason you can't see her. Once she takes that note home to her mother then her mother will have some questions to answer. Good luck.
You take the high road and let the courts and your lawyer do their jobs. Under no circumstances should you deal with her in person at this time, Make sure that you ask your lawyer if it would be possible to get a court appointed physiologist to interview your daughter and/or observe you and your daughter together,
Since these accusations are false, I would certainly pursue suing your ex for defamation of character and anything else you and your lawyer can think of, she is using a child to get back at you, so you have to be both ruthless and smart, make sure you do everything by the book and know this: every dirty tactic she is using against you now, will come back to her threefold, because your daughter knows the truth, and soon enough, she will be at an age where her mother will no longer be able to stand between you. Make sure, when you see your daughter, not to make the visits about your ex, Do not even discuss her mother, nor speak badly of her (difficult, I know), just focus on making the best of the time you have, bonding and forming the best relationship you can with your child. It will get better, hang in there, Good luck.
Ask the court to assign a GAL to report on your relationship with your child and the child's relationship with her mother. In this way you will have a neutral third party to present the findings to the court. The system is broken allowing such things to be taken as the truth because no judge wants to be on the 11:00 news stating that he/she didn't assign a restraining order if something did happen. There is no due process when it comes down to restraining orders.
My ex was the same way. Or worse, she almost had my daughter convienced she was haveing repressed memory's about being molested by me. My daughter is 25 now and dosn't hesitate to tell anybody her mother is a pethitec piece of **** for all the trouble she caused us all.
I feel really bad for you and your daughter. What he said before me is basically what you need to do. Its going to cost you a lot of money but you need to document EVERYTHING and take her to court. Im suprised she hasn't been arrested for being in contempt of court. One day your daughter will see right through her.. just be normal for your daughter and she will remember that.
Start recording all your phone conversations and keep a diary of the dates and times you've tried to see your child. Look up 'Parent Alienation Sydrome' on the internet too. It's actually very common. She is no doubt brain washing your child too. Hopefully the courts will interview your child while your wife is NOT in the room. They will have court appointed child psychologists for that, who can determine if your ex is saying derogatory things about you to your child. Don't worry...they will either take the child from her and give her to you, or they will FORCE the Mom to allow you your visitation. They may even make Mom take supervised visitations.How does one deal with an ex-wife who makes ludicrous accusations to keep you from seeing your child?
She will tip her hand one day and all the lies she is telling will be known. Let the courts handle it for now, in the long run you will come out ahead. I know a few guys personally that have gone through the same thing and even though it was hard not to see their kids it has paid off today. One even got full custody of his daughter because the court ruled the mother was unfit in her behavior towards the father.
An eleven year old is old enough to speak for herself, and let's hope that she is not making ';ludicrous'; accusations like her mom. And it doesn't matter what profession you are in, that does not exempt you or anyone else from pedophilia or child molestation.
Anywhoooooo, how you deal with it is with a lawyer and a judge, I think you are doing the right thing in that area, but your comparisons to other people (deadbeat dads for egs) make me go ';ugh';.
You don't have to deal with the wife (the evil person) you have to deal with yourself and your daughter so that you can achieve whatever outcome your heart truly desires.
I can only tell you that I'm so sorry. Your ex doesn't seem to understand some very basic fundamentals about having children - especially daughters. Daughters need their dads so much!
I am divorced with three daughters. My ex is a lawyer and didn't even want children, let alone do one single thing to raise them (they are all teenagers now). I would give absolutely anything for them to have a relationship with their father. He cannot be made to understand that he has devastated their lives by not being there for them - ever.
I'm telling you, I do not understand these vindictive women who try to keep the kids away from their ex - who absolutely needs to be a part of their lives. Very controlling!!!
the same way you would deal with an ex-husband doing the same thing .. you just deal with it.. stand your ground for the childs sake and dont do anything stupid to make it look like you're vengeful and hateful to the ex because in time the way they are acting to make you look bad will only backfire and make everyone see their true selves..
sounds like you are doing the right thing with your lawyer and such.. just don't give up for your daughters sake.. things will work out in time..
Call her or email her and ask her what does she want from you in order to see your daughter. If you pay child support, and it is court ordered just ask her plain in simple if it's not a problem with the money, and if a judge granted it what exactly does she want. Talk in a low tone, and no matter how upset she gets I would not let that change my tone of voice. If she says all the stuff that you were only able to give us the clean version of then tell her you have a lawyer, and you are willing to go to court on the accusations she is alleging. Tell her if I have to face a judge because of your accusations in order to see my daughter then that's what I will do. Then say to her once that is all over, and those accusations prove to be false then what else will you have to do in order to see your daughter. If she says nothing then I would leave it alone because as long as you two go back in forth she is going to always make you out to be the bad person in front of your daughter. I would write your daughter a letter, and take it to her school, and have the front office give it to her ';not you'; but make sure you tell them who you are, and let her know on a child's level the discussion you had with her mother, and let her know that ';you'; are not the reason you can't see her. Once she takes that note home to her mother then her mother will have some questions to answer. Good luck.
You take the high road and let the courts and your lawyer do their jobs. Under no circumstances should you deal with her in person at this time, Make sure that you ask your lawyer if it would be possible to get a court appointed physiologist to interview your daughter and/or observe you and your daughter together,
Since these accusations are false, I would certainly pursue suing your ex for defamation of character and anything else you and your lawyer can think of, she is using a child to get back at you, so you have to be both ruthless and smart, make sure you do everything by the book and know this: every dirty tactic she is using against you now, will come back to her threefold, because your daughter knows the truth, and soon enough, she will be at an age where her mother will no longer be able to stand between you. Make sure, when you see your daughter, not to make the visits about your ex, Do not even discuss her mother, nor speak badly of her (difficult, I know), just focus on making the best of the time you have, bonding and forming the best relationship you can with your child. It will get better, hang in there, Good luck.
Ask the court to assign a GAL to report on your relationship with your child and the child's relationship with her mother. In this way you will have a neutral third party to present the findings to the court. The system is broken allowing such things to be taken as the truth because no judge wants to be on the 11:00 news stating that he/she didn't assign a restraining order if something did happen. There is no due process when it comes down to restraining orders.
My ex was the same way. Or worse, she almost had my daughter convienced she was haveing repressed memory's about being molested by me. My daughter is 25 now and dosn't hesitate to tell anybody her mother is a pethitec piece of **** for all the trouble she caused us all.
I feel really bad for you and your daughter. What he said before me is basically what you need to do. Its going to cost you a lot of money but you need to document EVERYTHING and take her to court. Im suprised she hasn't been arrested for being in contempt of court. One day your daughter will see right through her.. just be normal for your daughter and she will remember that.
Polygamy Question. How to deal with co-wife?
I am my husbands second wife. I am slowly getting over the idea that I will never be his one and only. We are Muslim and polygamy is legal in Islam, he can have up to 4 wives. I have in my marriage contract he is not allowed to marry anyone else. But his first wife is still around. She is in another country and I have never met her. She and I have talked on the phone, but only breifly. We are trying to learn how to communicate, because I only speak a little Arabic and she only speaks a little English. She is coming next month. How do I cope with this? I have had my husband to myself for 2 years and she has been away from him for 5 years. I am not worried about the language barriar as much as I am about jealousy and how we can be friends? I am 20 and very jealous. I didn't know anything about her until after I had known my husband (just as friends still) for 1 year.I fell in love, so I decided to marry him, but this is still a problem to me.Anyone want to offer anything nonjudgemental?Polygamy Question. How to deal with co-wife?
Wow, I would be jealous also, but at the same time you knew he was already married. Just pray on it. You will figure out a way to keep yourself from hurting. Ooh, I would not like it at all. Five years is alot of time to catch up on. All I know, if it were my husband, he would be sleeping with me the whole time....lol...lol. And because I feel the way that I do (jealous) I would be around them at all times....Wow, girl, I feel for you. Maybe she just wants to meet the young lady who has stolen her heart away. His heart is with you just remember that. He has been yours for two years.Polygamy Question. How to deal with co-wife?
Something Specially
For You
I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all.
i so sorry i have no advice for your situation. i think you are very strong though to be married to a man that has another woman. maybe you should think in terms of pleaseing your huband. think what makes him happy and what he wants.
good luck
Congratulations and I strongly appreciate you, young lady, for having that kind of soft and kind heart. I hope many of these women on earth have the same tribe with you. Allowing a husbands to marry more than one is rare to women, because only a few like you don't feel jealous. Mostly are possessive and never allowed their husbands to share with other women. Well, since you are a muslim and it is allowable in Islam, you have to accept her as your husband first wife, be friend with her, accept her as you accept your husband to live in peace and harmony. For your language barriers, why not try to stay in nearby places and open a door to one another to oftenly pay a visit each other's home you can communicate with her as often asyou want and both of you will learn defferent languages?
Wow, I would be jealous also, but at the same time you knew he was already married. Just pray on it. You will figure out a way to keep yourself from hurting. Ooh, I would not like it at all. Five years is alot of time to catch up on. All I know, if it were my husband, he would be sleeping with me the whole time....lol...lol. And because I feel the way that I do (jealous) I would be around them at all times....Wow, girl, I feel for you. Maybe she just wants to meet the young lady who has stolen her heart away. His heart is with you just remember that. He has been yours for two years.Polygamy Question. How to deal with co-wife?
Something Specially
For You
I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all.
i so sorry i have no advice for your situation. i think you are very strong though to be married to a man that has another woman. maybe you should think in terms of pleaseing your huband. think what makes him happy and what he wants.
good luck
Congratulations and I strongly appreciate you, young lady, for having that kind of soft and kind heart. I hope many of these women on earth have the same tribe with you. Allowing a husbands to marry more than one is rare to women, because only a few like you don't feel jealous. Mostly are possessive and never allowed their husbands to share with other women. Well, since you are a muslim and it is allowable in Islam, you have to accept her as your husband first wife, be friend with her, accept her as you accept your husband to live in peace and harmony. For your language barriers, why not try to stay in nearby places and open a door to one another to oftenly pay a visit each other's home you can communicate with her as often asyou want and both of you will learn defferent languages?
How to deal with a wife who gets annoyed of everything I do??!!! and never say sorry!! PLEASE HELP!!?
we are just 6 month married. We married with love!but since our wedding day, my wife is just get annoyed of anything I do! she makes problems about the way I brush my teeth, the way I wear my shoes, the way I sort out problems, bla bla blaa.... now i have a hell life!! how can I deal with such person!?!?!! I hate of seriously considering about divorcing :(
She never says ';sorry'; for her stupid behaviors, mistakes... She makes me MAD!!!!!!!!!How to deal with a wife who gets annoyed of everything I do??!!! and never say sorry!! PLEASE HELP!!?
First of all, I will admit that I used to be like that but I have never been that picky as she is. I have never complain about how my husband brushes his teeth or wear his shoes, etc. I mostly complain about doing things around the house, helping me, being with me a little more.
I will tell you not to give up yet. The advice that was given to me and can apply to you is, do everything you can and suppose to do before you totally give up. Your marriage is fresh so that means things are going to be touchy to you and her. That is common and nothing to get so upset about until you just leave it all behind. Work through it and with it. Have you told her that she hurt your feelings or she naggs you a little too much? Start there. Communication is the key. That is a matter my husband and I are still working on. COMMUNICATION is one of the known causes of divorces along with other issues. If communication is going to cause an arguement, oh well. It is best to get it out instead of it staying in. Plus, you will probably feel a lot better. She deserves to treat you with respect and same goes for you. The only that point is going to be out in the open is when you bring it up. If it so easy to quit anything but it take a strong, dedicated, and determined person to stay with something until the end. I think you need to work at it a little longer because 6 months is not even close enough to know if you are done with this person or not. I have been with my husband for 4 years and it will be 5 in July. Believe me, all those years were not easy. We argued our first few months of marriage but we got through it and moved on. Now, we still have our disagreements but we move on. I was given a prayer that I want to give to you and I hope it is a guide for you and your wife. The title of it is, ';A Marriage Prayer.'; Lord, help us to remember when we first met and the strong love that grew between us. To work that love into practical things so nothing can divide us. We ask for words both kind and loving and hearts always ready to ask forgiveness as well as forgive. Dear Lord, we put our marriage into your hands.
Recite that prayer everyday when you get up and hopefully, prayerfully everything will work out for the best. When you have done all you can, that's when you will know if it is time for the both of you to go your seperate ways. Lastly, whatever you do, do NOT get relatives involve in your marriage or so called friends. Work together and everything will be alright.
Best of luck to you and your wife and I hope things work out. I'm telling you all of this because I'm going through a little confusion in my marriage this week as well but it will be alright. I'm getting through it and I'm praying about it. I love my husband but sometimes he work my last nerve. Same words you said about your wife, right?How to deal with a wife who gets annoyed of everything I do??!!! and never say sorry!! PLEASE HELP!!?
This is NOT about going to counseling. She does NOT love you.
I am sorry to say this - from one man to another - she married you because she ';thought'; that having you take care of her would make her happy. But it is not working. So she secretly blames you for her unhappiness - but it isn't you it is HER. If you stay with her - if you have children with her - your life will be HELL. This is how women treat men they don't love. They abuse them.
If you tell her you want a divorce she ';might'; promise to improve, but it won't last. For whatever reason she is not able to see what a great guy you are. I bet LOTS of other women will want you and will love you back.
I think you need to ask her why she married you. It doesn't look like she is admiring and respecting those things she fell in love with you for.
I can relate because the first month or two were like that, except I was the wife :(
I felt terrible the way I was so picky to my husband, and I realized that if we both were going to enjoy the marriage I'd need to loosen up a bit!
I'm not being mean but you both sound very young and clearly not ready for marriage. Neither of you has the ability or skill to navigate these stupid little issues. She sounds like a spoiled brat and you sound like you don't have a back bone to stand up to her. She is going to walk all over you. If she can't say sorry for being rude or mean now what happens when the real problems come?
I would ask her honey I seem to be bothering you alot lately is there something that I am doing different? I don't mean to upset you but it has been stressing me out. I know it seems delicate but us woman can be pretty moody sometimes. Chances are there is a deeper issue. Like maybe adjusting to married life has been hard and she needs someone to talk to.
Try to find out why she does it. Don't think about divorce yet. My husband used not to say sorry too, n he even said that he will never use sorry n thank you words. But he changed him self n I have changed my self too. Work on your marriage. Honestly, girls might act very harsh when they are deeply hurt. Talk to her. Maybe it is some sort of protection. Don't give up :)
just talk to her. she might be stressed out. i know i get like that sometimes and it's just because i'm stressed from work and the kids.
welcome to the married life buddy.
honestly sit and talk to her if she cared she would work on it with you.
if she dont piss her off on purpose.
There always counseling. If that fails, divorce. Better an early break-up. Less painful.
Counseling
Divorce
bin her mate, its only going to get worse, or just stop listening to her and ignore her when she nags
Just ignore her. In fact, get sloppier.
first try counsiling then if that dose not work then get a divorce
She never says ';sorry'; for her stupid behaviors, mistakes... She makes me MAD!!!!!!!!!How to deal with a wife who gets annoyed of everything I do??!!! and never say sorry!! PLEASE HELP!!?
First of all, I will admit that I used to be like that but I have never been that picky as she is. I have never complain about how my husband brushes his teeth or wear his shoes, etc. I mostly complain about doing things around the house, helping me, being with me a little more.
I will tell you not to give up yet. The advice that was given to me and can apply to you is, do everything you can and suppose to do before you totally give up. Your marriage is fresh so that means things are going to be touchy to you and her. That is common and nothing to get so upset about until you just leave it all behind. Work through it and with it. Have you told her that she hurt your feelings or she naggs you a little too much? Start there. Communication is the key. That is a matter my husband and I are still working on. COMMUNICATION is one of the known causes of divorces along with other issues. If communication is going to cause an arguement, oh well. It is best to get it out instead of it staying in. Plus, you will probably feel a lot better. She deserves to treat you with respect and same goes for you. The only that point is going to be out in the open is when you bring it up. If it so easy to quit anything but it take a strong, dedicated, and determined person to stay with something until the end. I think you need to work at it a little longer because 6 months is not even close enough to know if you are done with this person or not. I have been with my husband for 4 years and it will be 5 in July. Believe me, all those years were not easy. We argued our first few months of marriage but we got through it and moved on. Now, we still have our disagreements but we move on. I was given a prayer that I want to give to you and I hope it is a guide for you and your wife. The title of it is, ';A Marriage Prayer.'; Lord, help us to remember when we first met and the strong love that grew between us. To work that love into practical things so nothing can divide us. We ask for words both kind and loving and hearts always ready to ask forgiveness as well as forgive. Dear Lord, we put our marriage into your hands.
Recite that prayer everyday when you get up and hopefully, prayerfully everything will work out for the best. When you have done all you can, that's when you will know if it is time for the both of you to go your seperate ways. Lastly, whatever you do, do NOT get relatives involve in your marriage or so called friends. Work together and everything will be alright.
Best of luck to you and your wife and I hope things work out. I'm telling you all of this because I'm going through a little confusion in my marriage this week as well but it will be alright. I'm getting through it and I'm praying about it. I love my husband but sometimes he work my last nerve. Same words you said about your wife, right?How to deal with a wife who gets annoyed of everything I do??!!! and never say sorry!! PLEASE HELP!!?
This is NOT about going to counseling. She does NOT love you.
I am sorry to say this - from one man to another - she married you because she ';thought'; that having you take care of her would make her happy. But it is not working. So she secretly blames you for her unhappiness - but it isn't you it is HER. If you stay with her - if you have children with her - your life will be HELL. This is how women treat men they don't love. They abuse them.
If you tell her you want a divorce she ';might'; promise to improve, but it won't last. For whatever reason she is not able to see what a great guy you are. I bet LOTS of other women will want you and will love you back.
I think you need to ask her why she married you. It doesn't look like she is admiring and respecting those things she fell in love with you for.
I can relate because the first month or two were like that, except I was the wife :(
I felt terrible the way I was so picky to my husband, and I realized that if we both were going to enjoy the marriage I'd need to loosen up a bit!
I'm not being mean but you both sound very young and clearly not ready for marriage. Neither of you has the ability or skill to navigate these stupid little issues. She sounds like a spoiled brat and you sound like you don't have a back bone to stand up to her. She is going to walk all over you. If she can't say sorry for being rude or mean now what happens when the real problems come?
I would ask her honey I seem to be bothering you alot lately is there something that I am doing different? I don't mean to upset you but it has been stressing me out. I know it seems delicate but us woman can be pretty moody sometimes. Chances are there is a deeper issue. Like maybe adjusting to married life has been hard and she needs someone to talk to.
Try to find out why she does it. Don't think about divorce yet. My husband used not to say sorry too, n he even said that he will never use sorry n thank you words. But he changed him self n I have changed my self too. Work on your marriage. Honestly, girls might act very harsh when they are deeply hurt. Talk to her. Maybe it is some sort of protection. Don't give up :)
just talk to her. she might be stressed out. i know i get like that sometimes and it's just because i'm stressed from work and the kids.
welcome to the married life buddy.
honestly sit and talk to her if she cared she would work on it with you.
if she dont piss her off on purpose.
There always counseling. If that fails, divorce. Better an early break-up. Less painful.
Counseling
Divorce
bin her mate, its only going to get worse, or just stop listening to her and ignore her when she nags
Just ignore her. In fact, get sloppier.
first try counsiling then if that dose not work then get a divorce
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