Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Divorcing bipolar wife, how to deal with it?

I thought I found the love of my life, but she slipped into depression after her mother died, and then had to be hospitalized. When she came out of hospital, she said she loved me and our life. Then she quit her medicine, and two months later blames me for her problems. I'm finding it very hard to accept this as its all bullsh*t. But there is no way to communicate with her now. Anyone gone thru this and how did you deal with it.Divorcing bipolar wife, how to deal with it?
First, the diagnosis of bipolar disorder is highly over used. If she saw only one counselor who diagnosed her, she would be best to see another. Possibly she feels distance from you and her mother was her only source connecting her to her life. You do not state in what way she blames you for the problems. It would help if you gave specific examples in order for us to get a better idea of the dynamic of the relationship. If you like, email me and give me exampels and a longer explanation of what is going on. I am usually fairly on point in sorting out the issues.Divorcing bipolar wife, how to deal with it?
I am bi polar and the sad fact is if she doesnt accept it and stay on her meds it wont get any easier for you and sometimes it takes years to find the right combo of meds. If your strong enuf to stick it out great for both of you. My boyfriend stuck it out and im greatful he did. He is a very strong man and i put him through h3ll before he meds were right. The one thing i can tell you is tell her how u feel and dont threaten to walk unless you mean it.
Didn't your wedding vows include something along the lines of ';in sickness and in health';?





You need to help her get the help she needs...if she's off her meds, you know she's not making these decisions the way someone else might.
Sure. GEt into counseling with her.... and the deal is, she stays on the meds, or you leave....simple.





And you might have to leave, hon.
i was married back in 1972. at that time we didn't know about bipolar. now i think that is what she has. it will be so very hard my friend
Yes, I am going through this right now with my Fiance. It is really hard to deal with, but if she will get back on her meds and stay on them she can have a very normal life. This being said though, before you divorce her, remember your vows to her. You vowed to love her in SICKNESS and in HEALTH. You cannot simply pick one over the other. If you love her and if she indeed loves you, you really have to remember that she made no choices here, it is an illness that she could not help having. It is difficult to deal with yes, but it would be equally hard to deal with her if she had something that was terminal too, would you divorce over these types of things as well? The thing to do here is to give her an ultimatum, get back on your meds or I want a divorce. But make sure that she knows you love her and that you would rather her be well than like she is. The other side of the coin is this, with her off of her meds, divorcing her is going to cause her to become even more depressed if she is in love with you. She does not right now realize what it is she is doing because of the illness. This is going to cause her to not understand why you want this divorce. She may blame you, but more often she will blame herself and not even realize why. Bipolar disorder is serious, but controlable. But even on meds she is going to have bad days. She needs to get into regular therapy and take her meds as prescribed to her. She needs you right now more than ever, and even if it is hard, you loved her when she was well and I suspect you still do. But we all have to take the bad with the good. This is what love and marriage are about. It has some great times but there are going to be some real trials too. Divorce shoukd be a very last resort. So really think about it first. Don't lose the love of your life over illness. Hope this helps, good luck to you. If you ever need to talk you can send me a message or even an IM off of my profile on Yahoo answers. I know what it is you are going through and would be glad to assist with any advice I can give. The update you have given says that she is going through a real bad time right now with the illness. Try getting her to sit down and talk, maybe even with a marriage counselor.
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