I feel very concerned, and worried for you, as this is a terrible situation, and in my experience from what you have written certain to result in pain, and anger at best, and possibly much worse.
You may have started out with one problem, your neighbor's totally inappropriate behaviour, but you now have a more serious problem in how your wife is reacting to your feelings.
I don't know what she was like when you met, and before you got married, but based on you not mentioning it, her flirting seems to be a more recent behaviour, and while by itself harmless, especially when driven by her feeling attractive from the neighbor's overt interest, is indicating one or more very serious problems in your marriage. At best, she is totally ignoring your feelings, and whether they are based in reality, or just insecurity, you can't help feeling what you feel. Knowing how her behaviour is making you feel, her continuing to behave that way, and worse, that she is disregarding your right to feel as you do, and belittling those feelings, shows a major lack of respect for you, your feelings, and is effectively telling you that they are unimportant. Respect is a critical foundation for a marriage, and right now she is not giving it. Even if this situation stopped right now, if you two don't fix that problem, trust, and communication are at real risk too from that lack of respect.
Your neighbor is so far out of line that you must find a way to sever all contact, period. There is no repairing the damage he has done, and you obviously can't trust him, nor should you be expected to have any interaction. If you have a tall fence, then it's possible you can do your best to pretend he no longer exisits. Don't respond to anything he says. Change your phone number if needed, so he can't call, never nod, wave, or even look at him if you happen to pass on the street. Like I said for all purposes he no longer exists. If you are very lucky, this might work, but in my experience, it will take more than that, and inevitably result in some real acrifice on your part, like moving somewhere else. It might get worse, as people like him, are often borderline, or complete sociopaths, and this could escalate into violence of some sort, maybe just vandalism, but possibly worse.
I don't know what else is going on in your marriage, but your wife may be feeling she lacks something, be it attention, passion, or something entirely different. Without knowing what is in her head, it's possible she will cheat with this guy, or if in fact it is just her being flattered, and a bit self absorbed righht now, could also end up raped by him when things get ugly.
What I am obviously trying to say, is that things are going to get ugly, probably very ugly, and possibly dangerous before things get resolved, and you are in for some hard times no matter what.
On the upside, you can get through this, and be better for it in the long run. This may be the thing that ends up saving, or strengthening your marriage. If you think things through, before doing, or saying anything, you can probably stick to making the best possible decisions of the bad ones available to you. While it's unfair you must deal with this, you cqn be a stronger, and happier person for it in the long run, and will certainly, if you take the positive lessons offered, a more compasionate, and understanding one.
I wish you luck, and hope this turns out as well for you as is possible. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to email me, as I have been through similar enough situations, and know how much that can help.Is it ok to let my neighbour flirt with my wife?
yo dude i'd watch out if i were you.. if your wife hasn't already screwed this dude, she probably will.. keep a CLOSE two eyes on HER dude.
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everything has limits! if he steeped out of the line, you warn him.
She may not listen until something happens.All you can do is keep letting her know that it bothers to see them two act that way towards each other.And no it's not ok for him to do it.I could understand if you two had an open marriage but that doesn't seem to be the case here.
Hello Rick,
Tell that horny neighbour to BACK OFF !!!
Don't worry about your wife getting mad. If she feels the deep
';need'; to flirt, she needs to flirt with YOU !!
I assume you know what ';MILF'; stands for, and that means he
has those ideas towards your wife. Do you want her to f*** the neighbour guy?? You want her to carry his child??
PUT A STOP TO IT NOW !! It stinks!!
It isn't fair to any one to have something like this happen
Put a stop to it some how immediately!!
Obviously your wife like the attention he's giving her. Why don't you give her the same type of attention and then you both can have her at the same time.
I had experience with a situation like this. Can't discuss it here on the board, but message me and we'll go into it. Good luck!
just let her know how you feel about the whole thing and if it continues, then just try not to be too upset....it is probably harmless but if she knows it bothers you and she continues, that is rather insensitive and disrespectful...good luck
If you want your marriage it is time to put a stop to it,things can get carried away then you will be sorry unless you are hitting on his then its a different story you don't care.
If your wife wasn't interested in your neighbour, she wouldn't flirt with him. Don't trust her that much.
He definately has alterior motives, and I'm sure your wife is very flattered. Most women would be. But I think your wife is gettting mad at your jealousy because she feels that she would never betray you and that you should know that. So she is offened by your natural reaction to the situation. She should be a little more understanding to you though, because I'm sure if you had a female neighbour that was hitting on you she would be just as unhappy. When you approach her about it, tell her that you know she would never do anything but that you are really bothered by his comments. Because it's inappropriate. Reassure her that your feelings of jealousy in no way reflect a distrust of her. I'm sure she will realize it if you talk about it with her.
Good Luck.
You need to set that neighbor straight and if your wife gets mad at you, then so be it. She's allowing him to think it's okay to openly flirt with another man's wife and she's disrespecting you by flirting back with him.
Do you Hunt?
You need to put a stop to this immediately..
Neighbor is being extremely disrespectful of
both you and your wife....
You need to have a serious talk with your neighbor...
Don't worry about wife getting mad, it is better than divorce...
It isn't fair to you , would your wife let you flirt with a neighbor, I think not. She is bringing on herself by flirting back , she is enjoying the attention. Just stop visiting with theses people , cut all the ties , if your wife gets mad , so be it. She knows that isn't right, there may be more going on than just flirting behind your back, I'd do a little snooping around and there no telling what your going to find. Better do it now if you wait than you deserve to be cheated on , you allow it if it was my husband I wouldn't care if he got mad or not because I'd be the one that should be mad, not him.
i was the lady next door--and my neighbor did this too--it started like nothing--i didnt pay attention to him---i wasnt interested---then the remarks started get nasty and foul---it wasnt funny anymore--i was done--and i called my son to fix it for me---all is well and i didnt move---
Where I come from there's a saying:Where there is smoke there is fire!Sorry.
You need to stop it because the minute you screw up he will be screwing your wife.
First: confront your neighbor. Regardless of how your wife feels about it, he is being totally disrespectful to you. Punch him in the nose if he doesn't agree. I'm serious. Give him an attitude adjustment to prove you aren't kidding around.
Second: remind your wife that you two are married and that means your feelings are just as important as hers. It is not right for her to discount your feelings just cuz she gets an ego-charge out of being the object of someone's lust
Third: consider giving your wife a few more compliments and flirt with her yourself. A lot of times men seem to forget that women like to be complimented and told they are sexy. Everyone wants to feel desired.
if u afraid ur wife mad then talk to the guy and tell him to stop flirting ur wife
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