How do I deal with my Wife and sister-in-law fighting?

Here is the scenario. My wife is the older sister we have three boys 14, 12, 7. her younger sister has two boys 4, 2. My sister-in-law is one of those that consistently has to be right. Example, we had family at our house over the weekend my youngest son was not playing ';properly'; with her oldest and she proceeded to get onto me and my wife about it in front of everyone. Telling us that we need to take care of the situation yada yada. This is the norm with her in all situations even in a conversation when she is wrong she will continue to fight you on the issue. My wife will not say anything becuase she does not want her parents to get upset (her sister will complain to her parents about it) about the situation which I don't understand becuase we are all in our thirties and adults but thats beside the point. I try and stay out of it becuase I do not want to cause any more friction than there is. Any advice on how to deal with the situation would be appreciated.How do I deal with my Wife and sister-in-law fighting?
yep, it is a tough one alright. Your doing well to stay out of it, and apparently your wife appreciates it or she would be asking you to give her sister a heads up on politeness.Maybe talk with your wife, and explain to her that if she wants it to stop she needs to talk to the sister (and maybe the parents so they have a heads up). If that does not work, then maybe she needs to not have the sister over when rest of family is there? Point i am trying to make, is one i suspect you already know, it is up to your wife to do or not do anything about this, and so, be patient, when you cannot go without saying anything any longer, talk to your wife, alone and try and barnstorm a solution together.How do I deal with my Wife and sister-in-law fighting?
Honestly, there is not much you can do if you don't want to cause trouble (very smart of you). Just ignore her, she is acting like a child. If she doesn't shut up and you must say something, especially in a situation like you described, just say something like ';We don't think there is anything wrong with the way ______ is playing with ______. As long as no one is getting hurt and the little ones aren't doing anything they aren't allowed to, there is no harm in letting them just play.'; Hope this helps!!!
My younger brother and I both have 4 kids each. When I visit his house, I plan to follow his rules, when he visits my house I insist he follows my rules. Sometimes we met in the middle at mom's house and she makes the rules. %26lt;giggle%26gt;
Stop asking your wife's sister and family to come over to your house.
well, if you guys don't get along then keep the time spent to a minimum or not at all.like you said your adults and if the piece keepers(her parents) call just tell them thanks for the info but we can handle it.just because your related doesn't mean you have to see each other.unless theirs a law for it i don't know about.
You both need a backbone. I understand your wife's issue, but you know what? Your KIDS will suffer for this in the long run because you are not teaching them how to handle belligerent relatives. Your SIL isn't just a know-it-all. She has NO Manners! Do you want your kids to grow up having the same selfish behavior? No? Then take the time to have a conversation with the SIL and point out that she needs to stop making scenes or she will no longer be welcome.





I know, this is all easier said then done, but doing nothing isn't working now is it?
EARPLUGS!!!
family is family some you can live with and some need to learn respect in others home and my suggestion to you is quite simple if the woman doesn't know her place by now she should be not invited anymore to the family functiions at your home and time will fix the problem it takes a big man to admit when wrong same goes for the woman let her learn,when she goes up some more.
First, your sister in law shouldn't be so crass.





Second, you shouldn't allow people who cause that much friction into your home. If your wife feels a need to visit, visit at their house. Then if your sister in law becomes a pain, you can leave. Much better than asking some else to leave your home.





Last, Your sister in law should find other more age appropriate playmates for her kids.
Family - the group of people who you'd have nothing to do with if you weren't related.





If your wife is not willing to stand up and defend her own children, you need to discuss with her in private, quietly and without accusation, what your response should be. Point out that these attacks by your sister-in-law do not just affect your wife, but you and your children as well. Being emotional doormats for your sister-in-law is not the ticket to a healthy family.





Pick your battles carefully. Your sister being ';wrong'; about the color of the sky isn't that big a deal. Your sister being ';wrong'; about her children stringing up the family cat and poking it with sticks IS a big deal. Which type of ';wrong'; are you dealing with?





Many adults still feel like children when dealing with their parents - and this sounds like your wife's problem. There's not much you can do about that - it's something she is going to have to learn to deal with. Right now she deals with it by avoiding confrontation - a life strategy that's working for everyone except you, it sounds like. Unless you make it clear this strategy is damaging your relationship with her, I don't look for her to make any changes in it.
You are right to stay out of it. Your wife should talk to her sister and tell her when there is a problem it will be discussed in private, not in front of the whole family, and that when she is at your house she will do things your way. If she cannot accept that, you should see her as little as possible. Good luck.
This is some **** that you're going to have to accept as lose lose. No matter how long you've been a husband, she' been a sister for longer. You cannot take the conditioning of fighting out of their equation because it sounds like it's been there for a while. You have 2 options as I see it. Either sit down with you wife and tell her how you feel the consistant fighting is detrimental to your family and relationship, or cross your fingers and hope it reaches a boiling point where they will just stop talking. You can't break old habits for someone else.
The answer stands out like a sore thumb.





Separate yourselves from her and her children, don't have them over and don't go over to their place.\





Just because she is a ';sister'; doesn't mean you have to put up with garbage in your own house.





Tell her parents, that because ';sis'; is so hard to deal with, you are choosing to stay away from her for the time being.


Tell them they are welcome, but you will not listen to any arguments about keeping up the pretenses of ';family'; etc.





It is your house, your life, your children, why don't you make it your decision.
put the sister in a box and send her to moroco