How do I deal with my wife?

I am facing a divorce with my wife. She seems to have hatred for me for some reason. I am a very honest,caring,loving man who is willing to do anything for her. The only bad thing that happened was I lost my job and became really depressed where I ended up in the hospital. I went to the hospital one month later of being let go from work. My wife told me on my birthday when in the hospital that she is leaving me and wants a divorce. We are going through a divorce now. We both have a son which is 21 months old and I see him for visitations. The only issue I have is how to deal with my wife. I done everything I could to win her back as a wife and not having any luck. What should I do?How do I deal with my wife?
I feel for you, buddy. I wish I had the magic answer for you, but unfortunately, I don't. Just know that there are people who care and will be there for you.How do I deal with my wife?
I thought marriage was about for better or worse, in sickness and health til death do us part. It sounds to me that she is a fair weather wife. You don't need someone wwho takes off and leaves when the going gets rough. Stop trying to win her back. Focus in healing your emotions so that you can find another job and move on with your life. It will be hard because of the child that you have together and also because you can't help who you love. When people feel as if you're running behind them they will treat you awful. Stop being predictable. Get busy with taking care of you. Sit down and make some long and short term goals and chart your progress. Celebrate any accomplishment you make regardless of how small. In time it will get better. It might also be helpful to join a support group where you can share your feelings and there are others whom you can gain strength and support from. But by all means distance yourself from her other than to see your child.
i know it sucks man......you gotta just move on .....meet someone new %26amp; sweep her off her feet ......be the greatest thing thats ever came into her life....learn from the past ..........apply what youve learned %26amp; be the person shes prayed for.....best of luck buddy.
My take on this is that she was looking for a way out before you were laid off. Why would you want to win her back?? Obviously if she chose to ask you for a divorce while you were in the hospital and it was your birthday, then she has no feelings for you. I personally think that you are better off without her; find someone who will love you for you and will stick by you no matter what. Good Luck!
I'm sorry that your wife could not honor her vows ';for better or worse,'; especially when she got to the ';worse'; part. If you have done everything you can, there is nothing left for you to do but continue being kind because that's the right thing to do.
Something is missing in your story. A woman usually stands by her husband when he is down and ill. What's the rest of the story?
I really don't think she hates you. She is just diappointed. Now here is what you need to do. You are going to have to pull yourself out of this depression!!! If you feel as if you can't do it on your own there are medications to assist with this. She is not going to want to be around the same ole guy who is bringing her down. Whenever you speak with her it HAS to be positive. Smile.. A LOT! Do not talk about you and her getting back together....you are simply going to need to act like you have it together with or without her! This has to be sincere, not fake whatsoever! Don't act desperate either, that is not going to win her back nor is begging or being Mr. Niceguy all the time. You are going to have to show her you are a new man. A man with a purpose who wants to be her ROCK not her foam mattress! As women we want a provider a cornerstone and if you get a job and show her your ';feathers'; so to speak she will surely know that you want her to be in your life forever! Trust me on this!
Maybe she just wants to be happy. If you love her, you'll just let her go so she can have this. Sounds like you have a lot of work on yourself to do anyway.
let her go, it doesn't seem like she is taking your feelings into consideration. she told you she was leaving you on your bday while you were in the hospital, that is wrong. find someone who appreciates you.
It seems to me that she never loved you in the first place. She was just looking for an opportunity. This timing came in handy for her.





Forget about the past and get on with your future. Look ahead for a happy and prosperous life ahead !
so, we've heard your story but what is hers. There are two sides to everything. There is no advise I can give you other than if she is hell bent on this then you need to let it go and move on.
I think you may have lost her hun. I guess she is not the type to stick with it through thick and thin.





I feel mostly sorry for your child.


I personally think she's an awful woman for letting you go so fast when the going got tough with a small child.


Doesn't she care that it's important to have the dad in the house?


Especially the first seven to nine years!


She's SO wrong for doing this.


But don't give up, she may come around. Some women may even take a year or two and then have a change of heart. Be patient. She might just need to see how hard things really are out on her own before she comes crawling back to you.
Make a new plan for your future that does not include her because you will be moving on to new ground. If you have honesty in your heart you will succeed. It is true that life gets bumpy, but it sounds like you have the right stuff to see you through and move on.
I DO NOT BELIEVE IN TELLING A PERSON TO LEAVE THEIR SPOUSE. SHE IS SUPPOSE TO BE THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU ARE UP AND WHEN YOU ARE DOWN. ALL I CAN DO IS PRAY FOR YOU SO THAT YOU CAN MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION. IT SEEMS THAT YOUR WIFE HAS MADE HER DECISION ON WHAT SHE WANT. IF A SPOUSE SHOULD ASK FOR A DIVORCE, YOU ARE TO GRANT IT BECAUSE THEY DO NOT WANT THE MARRIAGE ANYMORE. IF YOU ARE ALL THAT YOU SAY YOU ARE, THEN THERE IS DEFINITELY SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR YOU. SHE CAN NOT CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOUR SON BELONGS TO YOU ALSO. WHEN THE TIME COME AND YOU GIVE HER THE DIVORCE SHE WANTS SO BAD, BE SURE TO GO TO COURT SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE LEGAL RIGHTS TO YOUR SON. IF YOU DO NOT SHOW UP, THEY WILL GIVE HER FULL CUSTODY AND YOU WILL ONLY GET VISITATION. YOU WANT JOINT CUSTODY! DO NOT TRY TO MAKE HER STAY WITH YOU. IF SHE WANT OUT, LET HER GO. SHE THINKS THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE AND WE ALL KNOW THE TRUTH TO THIS SAYING.
be independent, What I think (based on the question) is that she is suffocating, maybe you push to much and she needs space, to deal with all these problems. Also by becoming independent She will be able to maybe realized that she still loves you, because she would have the time to think about it, without you being in the way. But if the love is gone........forget it, the only you will just end up annoying her.
where is your pride let her go. if she wants out when things gets bad you dont need her for the good times. GOD allow things to happen for a reason how can a good woman inter your life if the bad one is still in it, pay child support and wish her well you gone be allright
i understand your stress as hard as it is to hear you can't make her stay. Usually once a women gets to the point she acually leave A man mentally she left him a long time ago. You can only try to work on it if she wants to work on it to. No one can fix a marriage on their own. you should not be angry if She is not willing to work on it. You have no choice but to be a good father and be good to yourself. You can't change anyones mind you can't fix everything you can't save a marriage she don' want to save. There is a lot more to this then what you wrote i'ld bet money she was very unhappy you knew it for a while before this.
You should take this time to learn what you want, need, and deserve in life. Let me assure you, you deserve to be loved, you deserve to see your child, you deserve the best that life can give.





Take time now to also work on your recovery from depression. It could go away with time, counseling, and medication or it may be with you always. Learn now how to manage the disease so you'll be prepared either way. This will also make you a great role model for your child.





As you go through the process of uncovering the you that was hidden by depression, I think you'll find you don't need to do anything more for or with your exwife.
You losing your job and becoming really depressed to the point that it landed you in the hospital, probably made you seem really weak in her eyes, and is probably why she acts like she is so disappointed with you. Did you get another job and do something about your depression? It would be so terrible for you two to split up when you have a child, over a weak point in your life. Be strong.
What should you do? Well, for a start, stop thinking that you are in control of, or responsible for, how she thinks or feels. You may be the greatest guy on earth, but this is not a fair-exchange life; how she thinks and feels is up to her, not you, no matter how worthy you are, or think you are. And you refer to ';winning her back'; in the same way - as if you ';deserve it';. You may , technically speaking ';deserve it';- but that is not how life works. It is her decision, and her right to decide - not yours. Accept what is apparent to you. and move on. I may be sounding ';heartless';, but I am really not - it's realism.
Go to the doctors get some anti-depressants and get your life in order. Then talk to her about trying to make it work..
Sometimes things just end and there is nothing you can say or do to chnage it.
I agree with Royal. You aren't giving us the whole story. We need that in order to help you win her back.
has little to do with the job loss or the illness, she just don't want to put the effort in it anymore. she may have someone else she is seeing. we can't control anyone else, only ourselves. you may won her back by her being able to see a change in you.
From expirence u see's u as damaged goods.could be her family also in on the situation.Most of the time there is no respect for the mentally ill.U r frighting a looseing battle.She may have been part of the problem to start with.
Here's the solution; give her the divorce...she doesn't know what she's loosing. You seem like a great guy, and any other woman would be very lucky to have you.


You keep your chin up...
It takes two people to make a relationship work. Was it your fault that you lost your job? It could be that she looks at you as an incompetent provider. My husband is constantly flirting with the idea that he could lose his job and doesn't seem to care. I have brought this up to him on several occasions and he acts as though it's not my problem to worry about it. Everything that you do also effects your spouse whether that be positive or negative. Now, I'm not saying that it's your fault. If this is truly all that you have done I can't see this as a good reason to leave someone. My husband has already lost one job due to his uncaring way. I am still with him. Everyone has their level of what they can deal with. If she has reached her point already then it will surely be over no matter what you do to try to win her back. But don't let this effect you in a negative way. I have seen what can happen to a man when he puts all of his energy into working out a relationship that's dead. You're worth more than what she's willing to give you if this is the case. And there are plenty of women who will stick it out through the bad. She may have even been waiting for a reason to leave. She may have married for the wrong reasons. It could also be that your mental breakdown wore on her. Not all women know how to deal with a man that is at his rope's end. But you have done well for yourself. There will always be problems in life. If she's not willing to deal with them then she will have a very hard life. Do YOU want to be along for THAT ride if she allows you? Unfortunately we can't control others, only ourselves. And when someone has their mind made up about something there's not much you can do to change it other than to talk to her about her reasonings and try to reassure her that you will change whatever it is that she has a problem with. Personally, I think life's too short. You need a good woman that is more compatible with you. But if you want to work it out, talk. Talking is a woman's biggest thing. You'll never get anywhere with her by sending roses. Words heal.
You know what, I think I answered a question from hers on this. All the players are the same, husband lost job, depressed, she wants divorce, I'm pretty sure I dumped on her pretty hard. Or was it you under a different name? Oh hell, who cares. Basic premise, get another job even if it's not in your field. I would flip burgers if I knew my family needed it. You choose to cave in on yourself. Pull yourself together, get a job, start support payments and realize your better off without someone who loved you for your $.
It seems fairly apparent that she doesn't want to continue the relationship. If she is unwilling to go to marriage guidance with you then there's not much you can do except be yourself and try and keep things as calm as possible. You will need to have a semblance of a relationship in order to keep things simple for seeing your son. Try and find out what has caused the problem and what is upsetting her and see how it might be resolved. work on the problem rather than just trying to win her back without really knowing what the cause is. Try getting her to go to Relate couselling with you - it's worth a go and might help. Good luck and hang in there.