Wife dealing with trans-gender husband?

I have been with my husband for 4 years. I have two kids from a previous marriage and he has three. My husband has always had some girly qualities that I have just accepted. Halloween was here and he was more obsessed with dressing up as a women then I have ever seen before. My husband as nevered talked to me about his feelings of being a women. I found out about this because my best friend found a profile on myspace letting the whole world know about him. I am lost,my heart is shattered,l feel betrayed and I have two little girls I tohave protect and I do not know what to do. Any help would be wonderful. I still love him but I don't know how far this as gone or where it's going.and do I put my kids through this?Wife dealing with trans-gender husband?
Confront him on the subject. Get control of your prejudices. You both need to deal with his feelings. I doubt your girls are in danger. You both need to be discrete. Try to understand his feelings. You may be able reach a compromise that protects your economic and emotional situation.





The most important thing you need to address is his disception. There are things couples don't tell each other. But sex and money are too important to be on that list. You may be able to accomodate his fetish without threatening the relationship.Wife dealing with trans-gender husband?
IMO I would not stay in the marriage. For the sake of the kids, please consider getting out. You can love a lot of people; doesn't mean you should stay with them if they are not who you married.





I see more problems/heartaches if you continue this relationship.
The children do not need to be exposed to that kinda stuff. Make dat clear to him. Little things you do affects the way a child thinks and grows; so be careful.
His closet should have clued you in.
He has a Sexual Identity crisis he is dealing with. This is a psychological disorder and needs to be addressed by a professional.





There's nothing you have done, or can do, to fix this problem. If you love him and feel he is worth the time and effort, get an appointment with a qualified psychologist, or specialist in this disorder.





You need expert medical advice to deal with this problem. This forum is not the place to get that advice.
my husband also has some girly qualities and I sitll love him as well. My husband tries too hard to be macho by dressing up as a marine in the military for halloween...he tries hard to mask it from the world but I am no fool and I know a gay when I see one - too bad I noticed after it was too late


he is a good father and some guys who are gay their whole lives can be good friends as wll as a husband so keep him as a freind and a husband...thats how I am keeping mine
If I were you, I'd let him know that you found out about his little secret. Talk to him calmly and let him know that you accept it and you understand. Then ask him if he wants to make things work with you. As long as he doesn't go public with it or tell your girls, they should be fine and you really won't be dragging them through anything. Tell him how you feel betrayed and let him know that he can tell you anything. I think he'll feel so appreciative that you want to be there for him that your relationship may even strengthen. Just a suggestion. Good luck.
It is always a shock to find a ';secret'; that a partner has been keeping. In his case, he has had difficulty telling you up front how he feels about himself. Therefore, the first step is to confront him about what you know and encourage him to discuss it with you. If you want to stay with him, you will have to accept this side of him. If in time, it really upsets you; you may have to go your separate ways or seek counseling together. In the meantime, you may want to tell him that it will take you some time to accept this
Do some research about it. This is not something sick, it's psychological and it's not his fault. He isn't doing this out of some perverted desire, he's just expressing who he is and he is hiding it because people today are so freaked out and narrow minded. Love your husband and love the person he is, not the gender requirements he has to conform to. Seriously, do some reading about transgender issues and keep an open mind. He's not going to hurt or corrupt anybody with this, and he deserves to express himself and be comfortable with who he is, just like everybody else. It's difficult enough to have psychological tendencies like that (which aren't his fault) without the world rejecting you on top of it, and losing your wife and kids. Get some education on the manner first before you talk to him, and not just from biased sites or people who you think will agree with you. Read it form the perspective of transgendered people as well. Good luck.