Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How to deal with bad temper wife?

I have an Asian wife, it is impossible to start a discussion because she ends up mad and defensive. I am tired to be the one saying sorry for anything. How to interact with someone like her to avoid future marital collapse.How to deal with bad temper wife?
Aw the art of dealing with woman and I apologize on behalf of my gender. It's tough I know. We women expect certain things from men but gosh-darnit if I have to tell you, just forget about it! See, we have this vision in our minds of Mr. Wonderful who is romantic and chilvarous and handy around the house and does things without being told and showers us with praise and affection, whether deserving or not. I'm sure it's hard always being the one in the wrong, being the one to apologize and grovel. I wish I could make her understand that she needs to be more humble and see things from your point of view.


What I would suggest is, if she has done something that you need to talk to her about, say ';Now I have to think about how I'm going to deal with this';. Maybe even fake a tear or two, because women will back down when we see our big strong men start to cry (which is something they desperately try to hide from us).


Maybe you could suggest to her to have a ';marriage inventory'; once a week. My husband and I do this and it works for us. What you do is you say three things you think the other person could work. Only three. Then you say three things you love about them or they are doing well! I would suggest that you go first, and that she go after you. Not only will this help you focus on the things you two could each improve on, but it helps you realize the other DOES appreciate you for something. Maybe you could tell her that when you need to talk to her about something she gets defensive (because she may not realize she's doing it) and you guys could come up with some sort of code like snapping when the other person becomes that way.


I know it's hard but try to hang in there. Remember it's always a personal choice whether to be offended about something that was said or done. I sincerely wish you luck and I hope things start getting better for you two!How to deal with bad temper wife?
You didn't say how long your are married. There are culturally differences and there are always the differences between all men and all women. There are cues as to how disagreement begin and we all feed these discussions in various ways.





Look to avoid those cues. If she baits you into an argument, do not participate. Failing all else, seek counseling.
She's probably very insecure and needs plenty of reassurance. You should spend plenty of time getting along before you so much as attempt to discuss anything potentially maddening.
I'd refuse to talk to her unless she spoke to me with respect. Speak to her with respect and expect the same from her. Don't reward her for mistreating you.
just handle her with kid gloves and love her and be very careful of what you say.
counciling is the only answer I know.
Take up Kung Fu. Then the next time she wants to argue, you whup out your Ninja stance, and she will die laughing.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I get constantly criticized and dumped on for the smallest thngs. I cannot do a single thing correctly, but I don't dare object or remind her of things that she does that I may not like...guaranteed nuclear explosion. Not talking to me for days/week or acknowledging I am even there or plain old hello is normal. I don't want to go home yet I am expected to be home all the time to be there for her negative abusive comments. I am hooped either way

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