Friday, August 20, 2010

How to deal with pregnant wife?

My wife and I seem so incredibly distant lately. We got pregnant unexpectedly with our first, and she's a little over 2 months along. We are somewhat still newlyweds, and she's in her early 20's, so I know this is a big change, but I feel like she hates me right now. She vomits when I come near her wearing cologne, I threw out the cologne and she vomits when I come near her without cologne. She won't hug or kiss or even touch me for that matter, I'm always the bad guy for some reason. I know she's sick and tired and I do all the chores around the house to help, but she'll never tell me if she wants anything. She will never want to have sex with me. A few days ago, she did kiss me and asked if I wanted to have sex, and I said no, not wanting to pressure her. Since then, this whole bad communicating thing has gotten worse and she is acting like I said no to sex with her. Overall, our relationship is becoming so strained, and I feel like my best friend doesn't want me. I always compliment her, I always tell her I'm here to help or talk, but she never takes up the offer. I can't bring any of this up without it turning into a screaming match about the fact that I shouldn't have opinions about ';her'; body. I'm at such a loss for what to do or say, and I don't know if it gets worse. My wife used to always be the sweetest, most reasonable person, and now I don't know how to deal with her.How to deal with pregnant wife?
Its the hormones, dont let it get to you most pregnant women go through this and as tough as it is you just have to stick it out and realize she is not aiming it at you.


she will be feeling miserable and sick and probably not very attractive if she is anything like i was, unfortunately men cant go through what women do so it may be hard for you to sympathise, but please just try to understand and show her your are there for her and want to support her.


and as for the sex thing, take it when you can, if she didn't want to trust me she wouldn't, and by rejecting her when she felt up to it may have made her feel she wasnt appealing to you, so just follow her lead and understand its not forever and you will have the joy of a beautiful baby once it is all over.





Good LuckHow to deal with pregnant wife?
Your wife is PREGNANT with your first. She is scared. She's tired and feels like **** even though to you she may look pretty good. She probably just started with the morning sickness which by the way can be any time of day, all day long... She may be cold and turn the heat way up...This summer you may have to wear long-johns and sweatshirts to bed.. RELAX... cook for her or better yet, get take out. It won't stink up the house. Don't be offended if she wants something and the minute she puts it in her mouth she cant eat anymore! Pregnancy can do that to you. When she is 16 weeks she will probably like you a lot more. Sex right now is NOT appealing to her but let her know she is appealing and you are always available. The good news is she may be one of those rare women who LOVE sex when they are between 5-7 months pregnant. You may actually get to be the one who is tired and worn out and has a headache!
Hahahaha. This story brings me back to my pregnancy. I was CRAAAZZZY!!! It has to do with her hormones and with the smells, your sense of smell is really strong. I would just cry for no reason or even cry to on star commercials. I am single so I didn't have anyone to help so I think that made it worse. I didn't have anyone to take it out on so I would just yell and cry to my mom and sister. I was an emotional wreck and knew it but couldn't do anything about it. It messes with your emotions sooo bad. I honestly thought I would never be the same again but within a month or two of having my baby i was normal again. She might have taken it the wrong way when you turned down sex, i would talk to her about it. Just be really sensitive and try to help her out with everything as much as possible. You basically just have to do your time and get though it one day at a time. If she yells, cries, acts insane just remember it's not her it's her hormones and you just have to let these things go. If you bring it up it will probably make her more mad. Ask her everyday, ';Is there anything I can do for you?'; That way it will show you care and she can't say you aren't helping out or being supportive. Good Luck! (It will probably get worse)
I think you need to loosen up and try to understand what shes going through





I know you dont want to hear it, but shes tried, puky, sick, probably dizzy, everything she smells makes her want to vomit, sex is probably the LAST thing on her mind





I know this pregnancy doesn't effect you much, but her body is doing A LOT of **** that she doesn't like and can't control





Im afraid the last thing she needs is you taking it all personally! She cant control her hormones right now. With any luck, the morning sickness will ease up in her 3rd and 4th month and she'll feel like getting intimate more often. Until then, remember- shes growing a fricken human inside of her!!
to me, you are not doing anything wrong.





but to her, im sure you are coming off as uncaring, annoying, and you dont understand what shes going through.





thats the pregnancy speaking to her and when she realizes how shes been she will feel bad, i promise! hormones are very annoying and very powerful during pregnancy. but there is a certain point to where a women cant continue blaming her hormones for bad behavior...if she keeps up acting like a total *****...maybe show her this question...
Firstly, congratulations. Sounds to me like you are doing a wonderful job of looking after your wife. At the moment she is probably still trying to come to terms with being pregnant on top of feeling sick all the time. At this stage of pregnancy her hormones are all over the place making her pretty emotional. I'm sure she doesn't mean to upset you, I guess all you can do is be there for her and I'm sure that soon enough you will have your sweet, reasonable wife back again.


Good luck :)
The good news if that you (and she) might be in for some relief as she turns the corner into the second trimester. She won't be so tired, or sick, and her sex drive might return.





I am not going to give you too much advise, because as a current pregnant lady I can tell you that there might not be anything you can do that will be ';right';. Try not to take it personally, because more than anything she just doesn't feel like herself. It sucks, for everyone. You can try to ask her if there's anything you can do to help but fully expect that even she doesn't know what will help. Try to continue to show her affection and not get irritated - your best friend will be back, soon.





If you have more concern that she might be depressed (and I strongly suggest you only follow this advise if you have NO other options) you might consider calling her obgyn. They cannot discuss her condition with you, but they might be able to give you advise or offer to speak to her at her next appointment. For some women depression in part of pregnancy (or early pregnancy) and she might be (irrationally) blaming you for what she's dealing with.
You are doing fine. Don't take anything in the next 8 months personally. The real strain comes when the kid is out. I am 36 weeks w/ my second. Honestly, my husband is a saint. I am a crazy broad most of the time. I am super emotional and angry. I am very queasy....still. I have had no sex drive since day one! Remember one thing, she married you because she loves you and the two of you decided to have a child. Her sweetness, sex drive and reasonability will return, I promise. Until then, help her clean, don't say anything about her body and don't be surprised if she wants the bed to herself. Hang in there you sound like a sweetheart.
It is normal, trust me, my poor husband is still going through this. i realise that but there is nothing i can do about it. she is just over 2 months wait till her 1st tri finishes she wll feel a lot better thats wat i feel now i am in my week 20.


the hormonal changes do take a toll on a pregnant woman and yea mood swings are soo frequent.


Just leave her alone she is in early 20's all of this is sudden to her to handle too.
I would suggest doing things for her before she has to ask you to. Find stuff that needs to be taken care of and get them out of the way before she makes an issue out of them. Give her some nice back massages or foot rubs when she's just sitting and watching television. Make a cup of hot tea without her having to ask. If she's not in the mood then she's not in the mood. Deal with that. You'll be fine. Just pamper her to no end and she'll be fine too.

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