Is it ok to let my neighbour flirt with my wife?

Is it ok to let my neighbour flirt with my wife?


My neighbour continually hits on my wife. When we are together he continuously stares at her. At first she didn't notice anything, I told her about it and she said she would watch to see if he was doing it. After a month or so went by with this going on, I have noticed that she has started to flirt back with him. At first it was pretty innocent, like giving each other hello and goodbye kisses. Now she allows him to make comments that are somewhat sexual in nature. I find that they are somewhat leading comments. My wife's comments are not leading but somewhat of a flirting nature. I have expressed my concern that I'm not comfortable with this! She allows him to talk about what a MILF she is and say other crude things, but she thinks its funny and not a big deal. My wife has no interest in him, she says. I am sure she finds it flattering, but it is drives me crazy. She feels that I'm overreacting and that it's harmless. I tell her it is not appropriate for him to talk to a married woman like that, she says I am way to jealous about this and it is my own problem. I totally trust her but I feel he has other motives! I don't know how to get that across to my wife without getting her mad at me.Is it ok to let my neighbour flirt with my wife?
never..Is it ok to let my neighbour flirt with my wife?
flirting is one thing. You can't stop someone from flirting with your wife. But the sexual comments are not apporpraite. That is how you can joke with her, but not him. I am sure that she would not care if girls flirted with you. BUT if those girls would come up to you and joke about how big your **** was or other jokes about you sexually, I think your wife would suddenly think that you would have a boundry to set. I think your wife is enjoying it, which was ok until it got inapporpirate. If I were you, I would be royally pis sed and I am a woman. She should be setting bounderies with him here
It bothers you and you have EVERY RIGHT to be bothered. The problem now, to me, isn't that he's doing this, but that she's allowing it. That she knows how you feel about it and is encouraging it. If a neighbor did that to me, sure I'd be flattered, but I also know I'd never cheat on my husband or lie to him about anything. If I knew it bothered him even the slightest, I sure as hell wouldn't encourage it and would put a stop to it.
Regardless of whether its harmless - she should still respect your feelings enough to stop and tell him to stop. If your wife is going to egg him on - he's going to continue to do it. It can be very flattering when a guy openly hits on you like that (and he's not creepy) - but the last thing I would want is my husband to feel uncomfortable because the man is hitting on me.


You will just have to talk with her about it again - tell her it's not a matter of trust with her, it's a matter of trust with the neighbor, and that you want her to respect your feelings. It may begin to be a matter of trust with her if she continues to fight this, and her weird superiority complex that it's her RIGHT to openly flirt with another man in front of you. Your feelings matter just as much as her does and you'd like her to stop flirting back and have her tell him to stop too. It's important the SHE tells him to stop - otherwise it complicates things I'm sure you understand. Once she tells him to stop - YOU can tell him to stop if it continues.


Stand up for yourself and be serious about what you want. Put your foot down on this one - it's disrespectful to you and your marriage together. There's a line with harmless flirting that has already been WAY crossed over here. You may have a fight on your hands, but you deserve to feel comfortable in your marriage.





*Edit*


By the way - shoe shopping with another man that was not a previous friend before your marriage, or homosexual, is NOT normal behavior.
She's cheating.





I'd hire a detective and get some PROOF.
no way
sorry it sounds like she's on the path to cheat w/ him, if she's not there already. We have a neighbor that was like that with me. At first it was just lighthearted and joking, and yes I did find it flattering. then he invited me to a neighborhood pool party at his pool. I told him my hubby had to work and he said thats ok, come anyway. So I show up and it is just him, nobody else, and he wants to take pics of me in my swimsuit. so that is when i wizened up and put a stop to it right there! so it sounds like your wife has not put a stop to it yet, on the contrary she is leading him on. It is starting to cross the line from lighthearted to serious, if it hasn't already. And this guy has already made it obvious what his intentions are. who knows if the plates in the sink are really evidence of something, or maybe she just got hungry and had an afternoon snack after lunch. you can't let your paranoia run wild. you need to confront her about it, gently but honestly, tell her your fears and talk it all out w/ her. let her know that even though it's flattering it can't continue, and if she values her marriage she'll understand. also definitely confront him about it -- do it when she is not there, %26amp; maybe have a shotgun in one hand and your marriage license in another, to reinforce your point. good luck!
ur wife is an undercover hooch,,flirt with other women,,give her sleaze bag self a taste of her own medicine,,
It seems like you, (the man) are letting this thing get too out of hand. Your wife's clearly lying to you. Step up and be a man and confront that man about flirting with your wife. Let him know that he's overstepped his bounds and if you see him doing it again you guys are going to have some serious problems. If your wife won't tell him to stop you step up and show her who wears the pants!
mayb u should start flirting with ur neighbors wife and see how he feels about it....if worst comes to worst just go sleep with a hoooker
She obviously has no compassion or love for you. No human being would be comfortable in your position or would inflict that kind of cruelty on someone they married.





You're afraid of HER getting mad at you? Okay, then find a female neighboor and start doing the same thing, let your wife see what's going on from your point of view. Sometimes, you have to step back and look at the situation from another angle.





And NO, it's NOT OKAY to let any other man flirt with your wife.





Good luck.
I was thinking it was total innocence until you got to the shoe part. No self respecting man would ever want to help a woman shop for shoes. This guy is a total slimeball. Maybe he and your wife have not done anything together, but she sees that you are jealous. So she may keep her interactions with this guy secret from you. She doesn't want you to get mad over nothing. It's understandable, but it's still disrespectful. I bet if there was some chick next door always hitting on you, your wife would be livid if you expected her to ignore it.





I suggest you go over there (to his house or where ever you see him) like a man and let him know that he should politely back off. You can express this to him without sounding like you're about to fight or whatever. You don't have to be mean. Just make a simple suggestion. See how he responds. If he apologizes and says he'll back off then, you're probably in the clear (unless he's lying to you). If he becomes defensive, you may need to beat his ***. In this case I suggest you carry a length of hose about 2 and 1/2 feet long. Most people do not expect a hosebeating, but they learn very quickly that it's not fun to receive one.
This behavior is NOT okay. You are asking for trouble if you don't nip this in the bud. Your wife may not have any interest in him (so she says) at the moment, but things could change. So stop this BEFORE it does. Simply tell her that you find it unacceptable %26amp; that if there's something she's needing from the marriage that she needs to look to YOU for it. I would most certainly have a talk w/ the neighbor as well. Try to be pleasant, but firm.
no
are you stupid or what????
HELL NO!I would get very violent if I was in your place!
There is nothing harmless about this situation, Nip it in the bud now, or risk losing your wife.
I had a neighbor problem once with a woman who was my friend till my boyfriend moved in , she started out being friends with him it was innocently flirtation at first,next thing i knew she was giving me dirty looks when see would see me. there is more but i will focus on your problem.I told her how I saw things and also told her to stay away from me and my boyfriend, don't ask ,tell ,your neighbor ,when your wife is not around to stay away or there with be consequences and walk away, do not argue. Then try to rebuild your marriage if you can forgive your wife because your instincts are correct. You are not acting jealous, it's called morals, principles, respect.good luck.
I think you are a little toooooo trusting..I would make an effort to try and see if you could catch them...you know (catch them)...if nothing is really going on she should not have a problem with you watching them...thats a little toooo much and toooo close for comfort if you want my opinion and you must because you are asking the question on here...
NO NO NO if you are going to let them flirt ,you may as well get a divorce.both are sins.if she truly loves you she will stop .and if you love her tell her it stop on.always tell her the truth if she cant handle it,she will have to get over it
Flirt with other women in front of her and see how she likes it. ';Flirting is cheatings ugly cousin.'; Haven't you ever heard that? It sounds like this guy is really into your wife and that your wife may be developing feelings for him. I say you need to put a stop to it and get serious with her. She needs to see it from your point of view. If she really loves you and wants to continue to share a life with you then she will understand and will stop the flirting. If not, I say give her a taste of her own medicine. Good luck with this.
No way is it ok!!!!! What a question to even ask when you already know the answer to. I would be upset. No man should flirt with your wife or anyone elses.
NO WAY!!!!! Build a higher fence!
Ask her to put herself in your shoes. Would she like it if some other woman had inappropriate intention toward you, a married man? Probably not. And if she won't listen and thinks it's ';harmless'; then go directly to your neighbor and let him know how you feel., But do not immaculate him, he might just try even harder for her, and possibly try to turn her against you. Go to this website for help and look up subjects on marriage and affairs, etc. www.watchtower.org
Next you are going to be asking ';Is it ok for my neighbor to be sleeping with my wife?'; because the flirting is the way we show our attraction to each other, so her flirting is a form of hafe sex in her mind....Man-Up and tell her to stop acting like a single women...also maybe it makes her feel good to get some attention..you need to tell her daily she is pretty, sexy, hot, and all the above....
what actually has happened is you have stumbled upon your wifes extramarital affair. when you mentioned how your neighbor looks at her she played coy and innocent, and is now acting like you are just jealous. what you don't realize is that they have been having an affair hence your neighbor's behavior around your wife. you should pull your head out of the sand and find out the real truth if you have the guts to face it. put a video camera in your house and/or hire an investigator to follow your wife and you will soon see what you deny is true.





personally i think you do know the truth but are too much of a wimp to deal with it and divorce her.
Tell your wife you're not comfortable with it, you don't deserve that.





I think it might be time to tell him to back off. Tell him he's overstepped the mark. Threaten to punch him next time he does it.





Or just say, 'see what happens if you say inappropriate things to my wife again.' I'm sure he'll shut up.





Your wife is being selfish not caring that this upsets you. I say just tell him to back off next time. You need to put a stop to this.
Kick your neighbors a**....be a man, don't allow some other man to make advances at your wife.............Stop it and stop it now...........you need to get it across to him not your wife. Geez some men are such cowards. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife sound familiar.........





Ok dude after reading your additional comments, I realize the problem....hello...are you blind or what? They are hittin it I guarantee you, careful what you are looking for because you are going to find it (your wife in bed with the guy next door) GUARANTEED!!!!
You need to ask wife what she wants, if she is a married woman than act like one vs. letting her ego be fed.





I can't imagine they're sleeping together but still...


I think you ought to tell her, it's one thing to be jealous but she should respect not only herself more but the marriage or you want out.





Believe me, if she keeps writing you off like that and then shows up in public with someone you obviously let her know bugs you...kick her to the curb man, it hurts but you deserve better.


She sounds a bit like a hooch. I know she was innocent but accepting MILF and letting him help her pick shoes that's going overboard.





If you love her to much to let her go, can you consider marital counseling so the counselor can tell her be respectable if she wants the marriage to work?





How would she feel if you had a sexy female neighbor move in and she whistled at you and wifey found out you had lunch together?
You answered your own question. You are not comfortable with it. Therefore, it should stop. If one person in a partnership is uncomfortable with any action it should stop. If your spouse can not undrstand that, then the relationship is heading for trouble.
i dont think that would be okay.


and even if she did think that it was ok, knowing that it bothers you should make her stop.. or she would mention it to him