How to deal with a lazy, bitchy wife?

I am married with 3 yr old son and 12 yr old daughter. We have been together for 14 years, married 5 years. I am 32 yr old. I love her but do not know how to deal with her.


1. She bitches and complains about everybody i know. All my friends wife (i have a lot of friends) everyone in my family, everyone in her family. She doesn't even hang out with her family or talk to her parents anymore. She just stay home and just play with the kids. No outside communication with anyone else. I cant stand it because i'm the type that likes to be around people and socialize. Not that i don't want to be JUST around the family, but sometimes or at least once in a while be around others too. Friends and family you know? This in turn leads me to hang around my single friends often because she can't deal with the wife of my married friends.


Because of this, i feel as though she have taken me away from my friends and family.





2. She works , elementary school teacher, but she does not do anything after work. I have to cook, laundry, clean restroom , sweep, take kids to school.... Oh, and i work full time too. Get paid more then her.


When i ask her to clean, she say that i am a clean freak. She leaves dishes in the sink for entire week pile up if i don't wash it. She say hire a maid. I don't want to waste money. She also eats alot and is overweight. I go work out and she dont' want to go with me when i ask. She loves watching TV right after work. Even when the house is filthy. Guess it doesn't bother her, but sure does bother me.





Please help. I don't want to divorce because i do love her and love the kids dearly. But how am i suppose to live like this?How to deal with a lazy, bitchy wife?
You need to invite her out with your single friends or AT LEAST invite your single friends over to your house.





What do guys do when they're single? Usually they pick up chicks. She has the right in this.





As far as who is supposed to clean up-that should be 50/50; however, she spends the ENTIRE day cleaning up after kids, chasing kids around, cleaning, cleaning up a restroom, maintaining the classroom, making sure kids are clean. She's probably sick of doing that by the time she gets home AND you get paid more than she does, so your job is more monetarily rewarding.





She shouldn't leave dishes in the sink-that's gross, but you guys should maybe alternate chores. Heck, you have a 12 year old, get the 12 year old to pitch in some. I had chores at 6 and I had to change my sister's diaper at 4), I'm sure your 12 year old can handle it.





The weight thing is on her. Perhaps make it a point to go for a walk at least three times a week after dinner. Get the 12 year old to watch the 3 year old and that can be your bonding time.





She has all right to watch tv when she gets home from work; I know few people who feel like cleaning the instant they get home. Let her watch tv. Do y'all have alternating work days? On your off days, you clean; on her off days, she cleans. If not, I once again recommend the chore chart and getting your 12 year old to help.How to deal with a lazy, bitchy wife?
maybe you guys should have a talk let her know how u feel about being this way and if she continues to be prepared for consequences as a divorce or you hanging out with friends more coming home late you know...i would say go to a counselor together as well a marriage counselor maybe that can help u guys.. BEST of luck to you!!
I think your wife needs to seek a psychologist. She is clearly depressed. Sometimes people fall so deep in depression that they do not see it themselves, but their actions scream it out. Good luck to you! You seem very frustrated and a marriage should not be frustration 24/7
Why did you marry her? and yes hire a maid, if you can afford it then it save a lot of stress.





You get what you put up with buddy!
Live with it or get out of it. If she would give you oral sex 3 to 5 times a week it would be easier to overlook.
you should not be unhappy. you need to either talk to her and let her know how you feel or leave her.
You need to talk to her..maybe some counseling would help her get back on track..sounds like she may be depressed
live with it or get a divorce
that's a tough one. you didn't mention if you've talked to her about this before? she's acting like this b/c you're letting her. if you want a clean house, hire a maid and there will have to be less disposable income for her. if you want to hang out with friends, invite them over. if she nags you for it, it's your house, too. you have a right to have people over.
You Love her, WHY??


you did not say one good,appealing thing about her..whats to love? just because she is the mother of your children?? she sounds like a cancer in your life and its not going to get any better without treatment.


here look at it this way..if i told you i was married to a bitchy, cranky,overweight slob,thats eats everything in sight,and that she complains about everything and everybody, she is a recluse..she is lazy,mean,and a couch potato....you would tell me why do I live with her or live like that or why do you love someone like that..you need to really look at the big picture..she will teach bad habits to your kids and you kids with have learned behaviors from her ways of living,,and thats not good,,maybe she is living with some sort of manic depression..maybe you are no prize in her life either,,just because you work alot and make more..doesnt mean **** to a woman..she needs to feel special and loved and have romance..add a little spark..get her some help and talk about whats wrong..


I would not want to be you for $1,000.000 dollars...
have you sat down and express this to her?


how you expressed it here?


nothing about how what you stated here is pointing figures (minuse the question it self';





sounds to me you both have straied a bit!


no need for a divorce you both can work this out!


tell her what you expect of her and ask her what she expects ofyou!


sounds to me she is depressed! she may need mroe help then what you can offer!


a maid isn't a bad idea! i know you want to save $$$ but times are hard and jsut think who you COULD be helping out by giving a job to them! maybe they don't have 2 person income! and 50 bucks a week might just help put food on the table for THEIR 3 year old!


in turn you get more time with wife, you don't have to clean the house,





You should explain how a dirty house makes you feel!


i'm not sure how much of a clean freak you are! and I'm lazy so is my other half and he helps out she should help out! maybe do a chore chart! and start her off easy! and reward her when she does it! that way she will be more inclinded to continue!





ask her to do the laundry weekly! and if it's done you'll no bug her to go out!


as for the going out stuff that's hard! at one point she is going to have to give up something for you! ask her what she wants to give up!


her laziness or give you some social hanging out time!!!
you sound like my husband! i work brought up the kids, ok he would clean and cook sometimes but the most was me so i pay for a cleaner 3 times a week now, also ive moved to the sofa because i cant stand the fact everyone thinks my hubby is so charming yet at home all he does is complain that i dont want to go out i want to stay at home with my kids, and he complains all the time about me cleaning, hope you get the point because you sound like a nagging wife!!!!!!!
brother i feel your pain you need to be honest with her about the gym thing. all else may fall into place after that. she sounds like she maybe depressed or just have a bad body image. help her by going to the gym with her you gotta be creative with the deliverance of said honesty. just calmly and respectfully tell her you would like to get more fit with her and make it happen, ur the man in the relationship. don't leave her though. im in love with a headache too and ill tell you i would do anything for her. good luck brother.
She sounds depressed about something. I dont think you should hire a maid. get your 12 yr. old to help out a little around the house. It should be a team effort without having to hire help. That's ridiculous. Yall could use that money for family outings. Wife needs to move it!
NOt a Dr but sounds to me like shes depressed.
In regarding to domestic tasks: HIRE A MAID!!!. You both work full time, so you can afford it.


In regarding to your social life, it is your business to choose your friends. Do you want to hang around your married friends? Go ahead, and do it. If she complain about. you ignore her. You don't need her permission, don't you?Tell her that.


In regarding to her eating disorder, she needs professional support, as long as she want to solve the problem. Talk to her about this. Ignore her complains, she's an unhappy person as a consequence of her own choices.
it sounds like she has some depression. she should consider talking with someone about it. if she never wants to be around other people, or take care of herself or her home... that's like the stereotypical case of depression. talk to her about getting some counseling. maybe marriage counseling would help to. good luck, sorry you are going through such a hard time.
It sounds like she is suffering from depression.


eg. Isolating herself, social anxiety, does not want to clean,


only interacts with kids, etc..





You should have her make an appointment to see someone.





She could be willing to open up to a professional, or be helped


with a simple prescription.





In the meanwhile, you should learn to cope by working around her.





If she refuses to seek help...you have to get her family or confidants


involved.





She needs to know that others care and that she needs help.





BTW: It does not matter who makes the most money. This is not


about superiority. This is about your love for her %26amp; helping her work


through this.





Buy %26amp; install a dishwasher.





Best wishes
My friend, it's time to have the Heart to Jesus talk with her. Lay it on the line. If you're that concerned about all the things she doesn't do, then it might be time to pack it in. I can understand a little lazy and a little griping, but this seems to be a lifestyle now. And if she is this way at home how is it affecting her teaching ability and with elementary kids. How does she deal with the parents of those kids when meetings come around? It's going to come down to you maybe looking for a little attention on the side because you're not getting it at home and then, when she finds out it'll be your fault. So get it out in the open now. You state that she plays with the kids. That's good.


Usually there is something deeper going on, ask yourself what that is? Is it you, who you associate with, your friends. Maybe the Heart to Jesus talk should be replaced with a '; You know, I love you but we gotta talk.';
It appears your wife is not a happy person. People that find fault with others usually do so to make themselves feel better because of their feeling inferior. She obviously does not like herself very much and the extra weight is not helping either. Your wife needs therapy before she goes downhill any further. What you need to do is make her realize how unhappy you are. Don't let her discount your feelings. Stand your ground and if she continues to ignore you then you need to do something that will be a wake up call to her, even if it means a trial separation. I know it is not easy but without knowing, your wife is sinking deeper into depression and she needs some incentive to get herself on the right path. Good luck to you!
Seems funny...But anyway, yeah right, she may have depression and she has to know it herself. She might not want to go out with your friends and family and to anyone else because she doesn't like herself anymore, she might lost her self confidence, she maybe thinks that other people are talking about her and sometimes people are just very very sensitive on what other says even it does not mean anything.





You said you love her, do you think what you are doing makes her happy? A happy wife is industrious wife that she can do everything. Are you letting her thinks for herself or you are always putting her down (verbal abuse). Are you giving her enough attention that will makes her special or you want to be with your friends more than her and the kids? Do you have sufficient time for your family or more for your friends? As a married man you should know that being with your friends or extended family has limits. You cannot do the same thing like what you are doing when you are single, she maybe doesn't like it either and you just don't care about her feelings and you continue doing what makes you happy, yes, maybe she is like on strike, she doesn't care and she doesn't want to show it, she has given up too. You have to talk to one another and solve your differences and meet in the middle. Give her the love and attention she deserves, and check if there will be a difference.
I had to laugh %26amp; cry at the same time I was reading this question, because all I could think of was that we should switch partners for 2 weeks and see if that wouldn't shake your wife and my husband up at the same time. Here is why I say that -- I teach also, part time, so not every day. I sub grades K-12 at 4 different schools. Before I leave for work (hubby leaves earlier) I have to feed 5 dogs, 4 cats, call my elderly mom to let her know where I'll be that day in case she needs me for an emergency (she is 85) and make sure our daughter gets off to school OK. When I come home I cook dinner from scratch. If the weather is bad I start a fire in the wood stove for supplemental heating. I know how to split kindling real well. Then it's do laundry or whatever needs done that day, and wash dishes, check on homework for the kids, pack hubby's lunch, clear away other dinner things, and cook for the dogs.)I am not allowed to feed them commercial dog food) We do not own a TV. My husband says I am lazy and do not work as hard as he does. Oh, and I am real nice to his friends and family.


I would love to see him try to live with your wife. She wouldn't even get to first base with my husband because work is what turns him on. Being sexy doesn't work. Haha. I want to feel sorry for both you and your spouse because U love her I think it would be nice if she functioned a little better. How did she get to be this way? Gradually? The best %26amp; most loving thing U can do is to try to get at the root of the problem and get her some counseling help. Do not give up if the first counselor U go to is not working out -- keep on until U find one that is very professional and can make a difference. Go together AND separately. It is good for U two to be in the same room at the same time with a counselor, and for U each to have time alone too. This is all important. U say U love her, and I admire U for that. I am in counseling right now myself for different reasons, but not totally unrelated. God bless U for being a wonderful man.
What does your 12 year old daughter do?


She should be doing some household chores, too.


Perhaps you need to seek counseling.


Have you sat her down and told her all you wrote here?


You mentioned she is overweight and eats a lot...why?


Does it bother you that she is big?


Or that she eats so much?


Maybe the cleaning is not the only thing that is wrong here.
ok please read my answer as i have been in the same situation before, my husband sounds just like you, honest, and me a bit like your wife well i used to be anyways except i was never overweight anyways whats probably happening is she is feeling bad about herself and is struggling with her own internal issues what u need to do is sit down and have a very frank talk with her, dont make her feel bad about her self tell her u love her very much and want this to work out that you think she is a good mother and wife but maybe she has just lost her identity though the years
Here's an idea: It will take some work and dedication on your part, but why don't you as a family start doing things together. You've been married long enough to know what outside interests would help motivate your wife. take the children and your wife to the zoo, amusement park, or some other fun place where it will get all of you moving and outdoors.


Exercise is a great mood elevator, get those endorphins moving and you could help the whole family.
Beat her


Beat her hard


until she yells for more