Friday, August 20, 2010

How do I deal with my wife?

I am happily married for 2 years. I love my wife a lot. There is a change in my wife's behaviour which irritates me a lot,the cause of which is me. After 6 months of our marriage, she underwent an abortion of our baby. It was not planned,so we had to decide this. She was quite depressed with it and every other month from that day onwards she used to remember the baby on that particular day and stuff like this. After 1 year of our marriage I did a horrible mistake, I cheated on her once. I slept with a woman who worked with me. Though I confessed about this to her (after 6 months), I know it has hurt her a lot. She forgave me and has given me another chance. I have promised her that I will live up to her hope and I am trying my level best to do it. But she is very depressed now. She has become very moody. Sometimes in the midst of night, I find her crying in other room. These things have become very frequent and it irritates me a lot. I get angry on her too. How do I cope up with this?How do I deal with my wife?
You speak about dealing with your wife. How does she deal with you? She gave up a part of her, you cheated on her and waited to tell her like that was going to make it better, she forgave you and took you back and you think she is the one with the problem. You are not being very supportive. I have not heard you mention talking to her to figure what is going on. Sound like to me you are adding to her problems. You have no idea how hard it is to give up a child or have an abortion. When you see other mothers with their beautiful babies out shopping or in the park you have a tendency to think about what would your baby of been like. Was it easy for you to make the decision? Now that you have cheated on her, she may feel like you would abandon her if she were to have a child or that you did not want a child because you were cheating in the first place. Knowing that the one you love so much is being dishonest takes time to learn to trust again. Help her solve what is going on with her and have more patience with her. She definitely has patience for you because she took you back. Most women would have shown you the door. Good Luck.How do I deal with my wife?
what a sad husband u are instead of being htere for her u gonna go *** sumone. how sad. i don't think u can change anythign. one day if not today u guys are going to leave each other. because me being a woman i can never take that much., it will hurt her for redt of life
Give her time to move past the infidelity. You cheated on her so you must endure these acts that she needs to get through.
You're a selfish swine that's what you are!!!


How dare you think of yourself and say that it irritates you???


Gosh, she had to have an abortion and to help her, to support her you go and cheat on her, and then since you consider yourself forgiven for your sin, now you want to move on with your life? And she's stupid because there she goes making things complicated?


Aren't you God's gift??!!


Honestly man, are you in love with yourself?


Is there some space for that woman you married in your life?


Did you choose her for her, or because you knew that she would go along with anything you decided?


Did you at least make sure she got some support after the abortion, because surely it will have crossed your mind that she is not coping?


What a BAST**D YOU are !! You don't deserve anybody's compassion.


Take a mirror and have a good look at yourself.


This woman is being depressed. You are not supporting her, SHE is supporting you. She is the one coping with all the SH*T YOU throw at her, and YOU are IRRITATED.


For Goodness sake, just get yourself together and try marriage counselling because your wife, and not mother, or priest, NEEDS help. She's suffering.


She's mourning the loss of her baby and trying not to disappoint you by trying to be strong, but it's CLEAR to any DECENT person, that she is not managing.


What a sorry excuse of a husband you are!!!
2 words dude...MARRIAGE COUNSELING.





She is depressed, I can't imagine why she would be depressed, she killed her baby, her husband (that she probably killed the baby for) cheated on her, and now he's peoed at her all the time--sounds like a great life. Of course she's depressed!! And you get irritated with her about it?





I seriously hope, for her sake, that she dumps your butt. She's probably worth better than you.
Leave that poor woman alone. She is feeling guilty about the baby and then you cheat on her and that is making her feel unlovable. You should be very thankful she is with you, most woman would have left you in a minute. Grow up and be nice.


I hope she is seeing a therapist to help her through all of this.
You need to go to marriage counciling. Your marriage seems to be falling apart quickly.
Marriage counseling-- your relationship is in a ditch and you need professional help.
FIRST..STOP getting angry at her...that is only going to make her more upset. SECOND...understand! For crying out loud....you can't cheat on someone...say I'm sorry and it will never happen again and expect her total forgiveness. The pain takes a very very long time to go away. And I am sure in her heart she believes you and wants to forgive you...but a few things...trust is easy to lose and much harder to regain. Do you still work with this woman you cheated with? Do you allow your wife to see some of your personl life, emails, etc..do you go out at night without her?





This with the abortionis causing her to be depressed. If you are truly sorry you cheated, then you are a very big man..and you should feel proud of yourself for relaizing it is wrong. However, I know from experience how much it can hurt. The worst thing you can do is expect her to forgive and forget. Give her time...be patient...you messed up..so now it should be a little harder for YOU...not her.





Let your wife read your emails. Let her have your voicemail code and atm code. Tell her you love her and make wonderful love to her. Listen to her, even when you dont want to. talk to her. Love her. This is how she will forgive you.
first of all i dont condone abortions at all......you reap what you sew and i have lost 2 children and not by choice....and now i find out due to an infection i had with my 1st son...i cant have anymore. So for you two to decide to have sex and not be resposible afterwards just says to me you two should be in my position. you are taking that for granted that you can get pregnant and play with someone elses life.....personally i could careless if you two make it as a couple....to know you through a baby out with the garbage is sick..and both of you should be ashamed of yourself...i hope they make abortion illegal and say its murder!!!!!!!!!
Im sorry but.... you have no right in getting angry with her, she did nothing to you. You should have kept your damn d!ck in your pants to begin with,. YOU ARE A MARRIED MAN! Men like you make me sick. Just remember she is hurt... broken hearted.... you need to be there for her... not get mad at her.
Try to get her to get some counseling. She needs it for dealing with the abortion and well as your cheating. Try to go with her and support her. She got hit with a double-whammy in a short amount of time, so it鈥檚 going to take some time to work that out. Good luck.
you both probally need to see a therapist alone and together she needs help and so dont you she is really upset and its bad if you yell at her and get mad at her.
It really sounds like your wife is sorry about the abortion and probably still upset at times about the adultery. You yourself called the little one ';a baby';. It lived in her body, she is probably very sad. To have these two horribly stressful events happen so early in your marriage is hard on her and you too. Talk to her. If all you can do is hold her while she cries, do it. Treat her like a princess. Tell her you love her and show her with your actions everyday. There is a group called Project Rachel that offers help for those suffering because of a past abortion. It is confidential. Look it up on the Internet and see what you think. I am so sorry for you and your wife's sadness.
It's very difficult to go through this alone, and let me tell you... she feels that she is going through this alone. Men show their emotions differently than us women, you cheated while she cries her heart out. You need to show her that you are hurting too, not by crying, but by talking to her and venting out your emotions. You screwed up and she might not want to forgive you after her grieving period is over, and that will be something you will need to suffer the consequence for. If you guys are religious, look for help there. If you can afford an MFCC(marriage, family and child counselor) do it and go see one. If you really do care for her and love her you need to help her get out of this depression she is in. She might need to take some antidepressant medication in order to help her come out of this. The key word here is unity. You married her for good or bad and it seems that you are not keeping your word.
Good grief!! Get counseling!! Y'all are the poster children for marriage counseling.





She might need some medication, too.
It seems like she maybe hasn't gotten over those issues. Like they're haunting her.That's really alot for a women to go through in just 2 years.Getting married to the person you love,having a abortion, and to have your love your husband cheat on you just shortly after all that.She's still hurting, Have you talk to her,about everything? About what she feels and what's going through her mind. Let her know that you see the pain,she's going through.That it's hurting you to see her go through that. But y'all need to talk it out, put everything out on the table.Clear the air for both of y'all.Holding back your true feeling,just causes build up tension.That might be what she feeling.Which can lead to her to being moody and more emotionally at times.
get a divorce, shell prob be happier w/o u. and if u loved her wanted to help her get over the baby, U WOULDNT HAVE CHEATED.


ok, whoo her again, make her fall in love with u. bring flowers, cook her dinner, maybe breakfast in bed, date her again. and show her alot of attention. goodluck.
instead of getting angry with her, try to understand her problems.. you did cheat on her, you jerk.
First of all you should have remembered your marriage vows, For Better of Worse, you suffered a loss as well as your wife when the baby was aborted, instead trying to find solace in the arms of another woman you should have been beside your wife, it is obvious that she did not want an abortion, that is why she still remembers it, and may not ever get over it. She is still hurting, I don't know to many married couples having abortions. Your wife needs counseling, and you need to go counseling with her as well, right now she needs a strong husband, who is there for her, she may find it difficult to talk to you about the baby, because she suffered a great loss. Your loss is different than hers. You need to reassure your wife that you still love her, and you and her need some type of grief counseling, because if you dont get counseling right away, she is only going to get worse.
First of all, how in the hell can you get mad at her for your infidelity?? Secondly, she aborted your child how else is she supposed to feel after carrying a baby in her womb and then getting rid of it???? Lastly, you seem to very inconsiderate of her feelings which akes u a selfish SOAB!!!!!! Instead of being an asshole talk to your wife and console your wife and you both should seek counseling A/S/A/P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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