How much sex per week is average, and is too little a deal breaker?

Ok, here is the deal. My wife and I finally separated after 20 years of marriage which has included infidelity on both sides, which we put behind us more or less. It has been the everyday arguing and failure to “get along” that separated us.





The biggest obstacle we have had to overcome is the differences in our sex drives. I’m always in high gear, and sex just really isn’t her thing. It never has been since we were married. Prior to separating, in an attempt to appease me, we started having it about three times a week. However, today while cleaning out some paperwork, I found her journal. I KNOW I SHOUDN’T HAVE READ IT, BUT !!!! She wrote that “the sex has to slow down because the more we have it, the less I want it”.





Now before I get personally bashed over this, it’s not about the quality of sex from either of us, it’s the quantity and desire for it.





My question is this: Knowing this is, and always will be a MAJOR hurdle and the root of many of my frustrations, am I supposed to live the next twenty years going with whatever she decides to dish out? I mean how much is normal or too much in a week?


How much sex per week is average, and is too little a deal breaker?
I am in your boat but the oars are in the other hand.





I have been with my fiance for 2 years we are getting married next year. I only want sex once a week but he can go weeks (currently we are at 3 weeks right now). BUT I had an 8 year relationship prior to my fiance where sex was completely not my thing. It was only my thing in my current relationship.





Normal is a hard one to explain. HEALTHY for everyone, I guess statistically speaking is about once or twice a week. Normal is whatever you and your partner naturally do on a regular basis. Although, if two people with matched sex drives have sex once a month and are happy with it, then that can be normal and healthy too.





If she is feeling pressured I would back off and wait until she comes on to you. As much as I hate admitting this, this is the best method to start with. If she doesn't come on to you in a week or two I would sit down and have a talk with her - emotion free. No anger, no sadness.





Good luck with this situation. I feel your pain.How much sex per week is average, and is too little a deal breaker?
I've been married for 6 months, and have a 5 month old boy...yah do the math...lol Anyway we have sex at least 5 or 6 times a week. And it's been like that since we got together 2 years ago. My sex drive is unusually high for a woman, and his is right up there too...we're in our 30's and couldn't be happier. I could handle more, but with a baby I think we're doing pretty well.
I don't think that there is a normal. It is different at different times in a married life. Sometimes we go several days or a week or two without. Sometimes we ';get together'; every day for a week.


so it would be hard to say what is average.
Once per week minimum (even if she hates it).


Once per month, or if she is withholding sex is reason for sex therapy/marriage counseling. If after counseling things do not improve - she she be left with a knitting needle and granny panties.





Start hiding your money.
I like it alot but he is not as into it as I am i would say I want it about 5 times a week were he is only wanting it maybe twice a week
From my experience, when I was young and wanted it more my wife was OK with it but not really into it. I can't complain, overall she was just wonderful in bed. Now that we're in our late 40's the hormones have changed and she's definitely wanting it more than me. I'm trying to keep up. I did some research and this is common. So perhaps your wife will change in time.





It is very hard to enjoy life when your sexual desires aren't being fulfilled, and even harder for people to communicate what they want sexually to their partner. Despite almost 30 years of active sex life my wife and I still don't really understand each other in bed. But the sex is good and that means we still have room to grow.





One last thing, I wouldn't read to much into one, or even a few comments or journal entrys. We all get in moods and say or do things that we don't really feel later. It's just a moment in time.





Besides those insights, all I can really do is wish you luck.
Since you've finally separated you actually don't have to go at all without. Normal is what's normal for you. Your wife needs more time in between to build up her desire. She could be there for you however. Most of us older guys tend to see this. Still, I'm 57 and manage to get my wife in the mood 3 times a week. I'd like more myself but I take what I can get. If you can live with it then stay. Otherwise get out.
wow...Im young so my answer for you will be different. But my boyfriend and i have sex usually everyday at least once. I suppose it will die down in a few years but im sure that we'll have sex at least 3 times a week as you said. I would say that 3 times-1 time a week is normal. I honestly think there is no such thing as too much sex. But if you two are to be together, i suggest going into some type of counseling, sexual counseling. It might be a biological problem with her sex drive.