Any advice on how to deal with wife's lesbian love affair?

After 5 years of marriage my wife informed me that she was in love with another woman. After initial shock anger, and sadness, I realized I hadn't been a good husband and decided I needed to change. I've stopped drinking, started working out , and have made tremendous efforts to be a better husband father and provider. But there's still the other woman. My wife hasn't been making good decisions regarding the situation. she's been spending on hotels, travel , food, etc... Since the woman has been in town(2weeks) she has not spent one night @ home. We have 2 young daughters.I really want to stick with her and help her work out her issues. But I don't know if she cares. I'm concerned about her safety and well-being. This other woman seems to be using her. I still love her.Any advice on how to deal with wife's lesbian love affair?
Sorry about all the hardship you are going through.





First of all, if your wife is truly a lesbian, nothing you did or didn't do influenced her drive to be with another woman. More and more studies are showing that people are born being homosexual, like some people are born being left handed. She may not have been sure of her sexuality before or she may have loved you enough that she could go against her natural inclinations. Don't take it personally if she admits to you that she feels she was always a lesbian. It would definately be painful, but know that she is just made that way and you couldn't have done anything differently.





If she is bisexual (possible, right?) then marriage counseling, etc might help. You've got to think of her cheating as cheating though. A person who is committed to a marriage should try to fix it rather than cheating when a problem arises. Even if you really weren't a good husband, she wasn't truly committed to the marriage either.





If she wasn't hiding in the closet, I'd say some serious marriage counseling would be in order to help heal your marriage. You can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do, unfortunately. Better yourself to be a better man, not only because you think it will win her back. That way, if she chooses to leave the marriage, you will still be a better man.





As far as the other woman using her ... it is painful to see people we love do things that hurt them, but all we can do is show our concern and offer support. Once again, we can't stop people from making their own bad decisions. At this point, you've got to state your case and do what's best for yourself and for your daughters.Any advice on how to deal with wife's lesbian love affair?
As bad of a husband as you may have been, you don't deserve to be cheated on. Sit her down and tell her that you know you weren't the best partner in the past, but that you're making efforts to change. If she's willing to cut the other woman out of her life and work on the marriage with you, I'd recommend that you start marriage counseling. If she's not, get a lawyer and start divorce proceedings. I know you care about your wife, but you have to think about yourself and your two daughters as well.
Just because it's with another woman, she has broken the marriage vows and is cheating on you. She has not been true to you or your children because to cheat is to lie and she is using family money/resources in order to do it. I am so sorry, but she is probably a lesbian, and she may no longer want to be married. Protect yourself and the kids.
WHY in the hell are you even allowing her to go out w/ this lady? YOU are the man act like it... she either wants to be with YOU or HER... don`t support her and her lover any longer, or at least if you do join them! (no Joke) you get nothing out of this beside heart ache meanwhile your wife is getting her cake and she is eating it too! OPEN YOUR EYES!!!!!
Take care of yourself.and the children..your wife has made decisions with her own life..she has moved forward doing what she wants to do..you need to focus on a better you and being a good parent..she has to make up her own mind about her life and the children..
I think you should just focus on taking care of the kids and your new workouts. Forget about the wife for now, let that situation ride itself out.
Let her go. Take the kids and let her realize that she is messing up big time and if she cares then she will come around
Get together as a trio and spread the love within the circle.
Leave her unless you're willing to tolerate a cheat and liar.
I would move her friend in to and love the hell out of both of them . Whats there to lose ?
theres no point trying to get her back she will never be pleased with what u have to give her which is why she turned to another woman. some women are just sick like that. dont blame yourself love x
wheeeew, carpet munching.... yummmm...
ask if you can join the two of them. Then everyone would be happy all the way around
i'm a freak so if i was you i would just jump in and get a 3some...but she has to choose between you or the girl
boot the ho
Pass the ol' El Paso?








ADD ON- I have to say, I agree with ';Chelsey';....My husband would NEVER allow this...no way he would.....i do not understand why you feel you have no rights here....
what a horrible wife and person..im sorry
I an going through the same thing, to be honest with you, she is not going to come around, she wants you to be the blame for the decision that she made, and always will to deal with what she is doing, she knows that is self abomination, you got to let it go and be there for your kids and let her dwell in that nasty sin, and take care of your kids, reason being my wife told me, who knows we might get back together again, i bought that and it has been always 3 yrs now, so save yourself form the blaming, heartache, pain, and self pitty, i know its seems its not right to watch her while she is on her downfall, but if you don't think about yourself you are going to fall with her.... point blank, she does not love, it took me a while to get over it, but you gotta focus on the betterment of your life, best of luck, change will come and it will be in your favor, let god guide you and let the devil guide her. peace
You are missing the point. The problem is: Your wife is a lesbian. You are trying to solve the problem ';I'm not a good husband.'; It doesn't matter how much you work on yourself if she is a lesbian. Think of it this way; if your best friend was gay, and he tried to be the best boyfriend possible to you, would you fall in love with him? Of course not! If she is gay, she is gay, and that ends the marriage. Keep working on things for yourself. Its what I am doing too. I work out 6 days a week, I usually eat right, and I do this for me, not to win back my cheating ex. I know that when I'm ready, I will find a good guy this time, and so will you when you are ready.