Your husband is a good provider, he tries to make you happy but at times he is inconsiderate to your feelings. You really love him and you try your utmost to make him happy. But you can't help but wonder if he really loves you and if he only married you because he didn't get the woman he really wanted.
Ladies how should a wife deal with this situation? Guys want are your opinion on the husband and his feelings?Men what are your thoughts? Women how will you deal with this?
This couple needs to sit down and talk. My view of this man is that he lost the woman he wanted and now he has his wife. He should have married her if he loved her and for no other reason. Settling is bullshi* and an excuse. We are all inconsiderate from time to time, but if he is making his wife feel unloved she needs to tell him and he needs to focus on being considerate.
His keeping a friend who is in love with him may stroke his ego, but it could lead to her stroking other parts of him too. H needs to realize how this friend threatens his wife and he should cut off that relationship immediately. Every relationship no matter what kind it is must be based on respect at the very least. A man owes his wife respect and deep love. Both of these qualities inside this man will make his decision for him.Men what are your thoughts? Women how will you deal with this?
The wife has to ask the husband or she'll never know and then when the hard times come it will just chew on her and it won't be a pretty site. Get it out in the open. Does he know the other female friend has feelings for him? If so, he needs to let that friendship go for the sake of his marriage. The wife comes first after God.
In other words, you are going to upset yourself based on the words of a woman scorned, rather than proceed under the logical assumption that your husband married you because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. Sounds like a mistake to me, but, whatever floats your boat.
This really bugs me.
Said husband and wife need to sit, have some coffee, and TALK. Before you do or say anything else to anyone, talk to each other.
As a new hubby 20+ years ago there were a few things I was inconsiderate about. There were a few things I think my wife was too demanding about.
Talk. Compromise. Make each other fully aware of how the other is feeling. No one can read minds!! Hubby can't read yours! Talk about it... don't yell, get mad, huffy, indignant... have a two way conversation.
Most adults can.....
Good luck
Sounds like he is/was involved in a love triangle. Honey, make the BEST of it. Be what HE wants. I think I would keep a eye on him %26amp; the exgf %26amp; ';';female friend that's in love with him';';';';. Sounds kinds messy. If you find that the love-girl is contacting him, you better pitch a fit on him %26amp; the love-girl. I smell a possible affair happening.
Avoiding the issue will never help, it will remain in a corner of your mind always.If you both feel there is still love then talk it over amongst yourself ,make your life simple .Virtually all human relationships have simple solutions remove that ';I'; ,ME.
The husband is a creep who is indecisive and manipulating. He is the worst kind of man residing on the earth and gives regular guys a bad rap. He is too self absorbed to be a decent husband for any length of time.
';He didn't get the woman he wanted, so he took the next best thing';, meaning you. Your response should have been ';Maybe, but at least I was still higher on the list than YOU.'; Trust me, you would have had a friend forever..
I would tell him not to talk to that friend anymore. No married person should be friends w/ someone they know is in love w/ them.
Sounds like you did not know him well enough at all. Best thing to do is hope for maturity, soon.
What is the current state of an average american woman's mind as far as heterosexual relations are concerned?
If you are married are you happy with the man you settled for as compared to the man you really liked but rejected because you thought he was:
Out of your league.
Too egotistical.
Would not be faithful.
The man that you chose.
The one that you dint like all that much but followed you around like a lost puppy so you settled on him.
Have you annoyed the hell out of him yet with ridicule?
Has he cheated on you?
How does it feel being cheated on by a loser as opposed to a winner?
Just in case you are wondering:
I am not bitter now.
I am having sex on a regular basis.
I am monogamous for now.
I have options.
I have a beemer and making my mortgage.
I live in a good area of Los Angeles and now I have to go to work.
So I am good.
So the comments like:
';Your just mad because you cant get some.';
Or ';Man you need to get laid!';
Or ';Ha Ha women only have sex when you commit!';
Or ';Real Men commit to a woman';
Or ';Youre bitter!';
Or ';Be a Man!';
Or my personal favorite: ';You will find the right one some day!'; (nausea)
All not true and or not relevent.
Or at least not true anymore.
This question is for you American Women.
So how are things in 2009?
Oh by the way you can pretend that you are happy like you are in Starbuck's with your friends.....but will that really help you?
He married you not her. If he wanted someone else, he wouldn't have married you. Guys don't ';work'; that way. Forget what she said about you being second best...she is on an ego trip.
Do not permit a friendship with any woman at all. You must be firm about this...no excuses.
first of all, she is obviously upset because he could choose her and he didn't. So i wouldn't listen to her, she doesn't want you and you husband to be together. I understand what you feel, i felt like that too, my husband's ex also left him, he told me they loved each other and she was sent to another country to study, the relationship was over soon after that. I always thought she was his real love. After years that idea finally went away. Time will show you how he really feel about you. After all he decided to marry you. Just remember nobody is perfect. If you don't have real reasons to believe he doesn't love you, don't bother with that and be happy.
a. like belinda said he has to be cut off from that friend. she's intentionally poisoning his mind and has nothing positive to offer your marriage.
b. everyone has ex's that you think about and wonder how it might have been if you stayed together.
his problem is he cant be holding on to this other friend because it continues to tie him to that past. there are no exceptions here for him. he needs to grow up, be 100% committed to you and let the past go.
the reality is if he isnt willing to do that he is holding on for a reason.
If anyone is causing problems within a marriage then one of the spouses is obligated to put end to all distractions. Your husband should put this woman in her place or end the relationship with her. Assuming that he even knows about this.
I think you or whoever this woman is, is allowing someone else to put thoughts into her head. Perhaps she is looking for things that aren't there. ';Inconsiderate of feelings'; is too vague because most women claim this for simply not getting their way. Why did she marry someone who is thoughtless about her feelings? Maybe she's the one who married the wrong person, or she's projecting her insecurities onto the marriage.
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