What is the Deal - My wife?

I have been separated from my wife for about two months. In the months of March and April we have been back and forth. We have been co-existing fore the past couple of years. No infidelity of my knowledge. She stated she was lonely and smothered. She needed space. I left in May.We have a blended family my stepson is disrespectful and manipulative and the reason I am out of the house I do believe because my wife protects him. Make a long story short. After May 6th my wife wasn't wearing her ring. I asked her on May 9th if she still wears her ring and she says yes, that she forgets to put it on when she sees home health care clients. I dropped my daughter off and still not wearing the ring, I asked here and she says why are you nitpicking and we left it at that.On the 16th I dropped my daughter off and tried to kiss her and she says that isn't happening. She let me hug her but no kiss. I called later and asked her were we done and she said we haven't had a connection for the past couple of years. That she prays about it because she doesn't want to make a decision out of haste. She says I don't respect her boundaries or her feelings. I asked here the next time we see each other if she would pray with me and she agreed. I also stated I would respect her boundaries, and asked her how much she wanted me to call. She said that was up to me, that when I call I drill her (which is true) out of suspicion. Thursday we prayed and after the amen she quietly said umm..hummm. So Friday I called and asked her if there is any possibility that we can re-establish our connection? Her response was I can't answer that right now, answering that would be making a decision that it is over. I expressed to her that I pray the that she releases that anger. The anger is from other relationships too in my opinion. I haven't committed adultery, abuse her, or drink or smoke. I always come home. I am guilty of not spending time. Both our needs weren't being met. My friends seem to think this is a control thing and she deliberately doesn't wear the ring. My wife appears to be a needy person. I don't know. What do you think is there hope or does she want me to end it, because she doesn't want too. What should I do. Give me your take. PeaceWhat is the Deal - My wife?
the ring says it all.


did she use to forget to put the ring back on before you seperated?


My guess is no.


from my experience, She is plotting her move and wants to keep you hopeful so you don't plot yours.


She is making the next moves buddy get yourself protected. I have been there my friend, Before you know it her and her lawyer will each have one of your balls and you will be have a long painful struggle to deal with at the same time as heartache.


divorce sucks, don't go down without a fight.


You can still love her and you sound like you do. But divorce is a war disguised as business. It is filthy, disgusting, and you will feel hurt, anger, vengeful and sleazy all in a matter of days. After she maxed out all the Credit and cleaned out all the accounts I had no idea what happened until I was living in a hotel eating microwaved ramen soup or burritos.


try to get and sell what ever joint property you can,


if you have assets protect them


Monday morning ask around for the dirtiest, sleaziest, heartless lawyer you can find.


Sorry pal, I do hope it works out for you.What is the Deal - My wife?
It sounds like she has already checked out of the marriage. Regardless of how you tip toe around her or not.
all i can say


you deserve soo much better.
It's over. Find someone new.
yes
marriage is a bond between a man and a woman that should not be broken; only by death. It's very clear in your statement that you believe in GOD so look at it from a religious point of view. I dont care what anyone says, woman always likes when a guy is romantic and makes them feel sexy. try something nice for her. If she still rejects you and decides to brake the bond that you guy have then walk away from it. GOD will punish her. I will pray for both of you. much love FC
suggest marriage counseling. if she isn't willing to do it, end it. it's unreasonable of her to make all of the demands and leave you with no control. so take control and end it if she's unwilling to be proactive in fixing the relationship.





praying won't help, you have to help yourself.





her behavior is kind of proof of how little she cares about the marriage. it's unfortunate but it's common. you're not alone. lots of people are going through the same stuff. you'll get through it, everything will be ok.
It's over dude.


There's a movie out called, ';He's just not that into you';





We''ll guess what.


';She's'; just not that into you.





She just waiting for the right guy and you are not it.





Time to move on.
Tell her:


I love you very much this is killing me but here are the facts.Your son is not going to treat me like crap,If I can be a father in the way I support him with food a home clothing etc then I also have the right to discipline him when he needs it and if you do not trust me to do that you were a fool for marrying me and should not have married me and made a kid with me because that makes you more evil in the end if I am that bad.I have NEVER abused the kids so your protests are groundless.


THEN end it with:


Last, I am filing for divorce, if you want to save the marriage then we go to marriage counseling and YOU own up to YOUR crap and I'll own up to mine.If you do not want to do that, then history will repeat itself until you die alone in a obscure nursing home someday,however I will move on and be happily married to someone who loves,appreciates AND respects me';
Your wife is interest in someone else i know you don't want to hear that i know i didn't when i was separated from my husband. My husband said the very same thing he needed his space and so he moved out. He stopped wearing his wedding ring and i ask why he said he never did like wearing rings. When a woman takes off her wedding rings that's her way of telling you it's over. He always had an answer for everything i was like you i was very suspicious of everything he said and did. Well after 2 1/2 years he moved back home and three days later is when i found out he had been cheating on me the whole time he was gone and 8 months prior to moving out. It wasn't him who told me he had been cheating it was his skanky whore. She planted things in between his clothes she knew i would find when i was putting them away. Never rule out something just because you don't want it to be true.
From what I gather, it sounds like you are the one who wants this relationship/marriage to continue, and your wife does not, I'm sorry to say. You seem to really want it, and your wife is trying to tell you that it's over. And she is obviously not wearing the ring because she no longer feels married. She only told you recently she felt smothered AND lonely, which really doesn't make sense. If she's smothered, then it sounds like you're with her too much; if she's lonely, you're not with her enough. I think she's coming up with reasons to leave the marriage. I hope it's not someone else but it could be. You have asked her how much she wanted you to call her...but if she really loved you, she would be the one on the phone calling you.





But this also has to do with your reason for leaving and your stepson. I understand how frustrating that can be, and I think many parents don't realize how disrespectful their own kids are. It is usually someone else who notices it. It is also a very tough place for a step-parent...you can't really set all the rules or discipline the child as the parent can. But you deserve the respect and since the child is in your home, he has to do what you say AND get your respect. Your wife probably doesn't discipline enough, is what I'm thinking. And you, understandably, can only take so much, and it does affect your marriage.





Where does this leave you? First, you have to decide if you want to keep trying with your wife, or just accept the fact that she doesn't want to be with you. If it does work out, though, you guys have to come to some kind of agreement with her son, and rules for him. If she protects him too much or gives in to him too much, trust me it will guarantee problems when he's older. Good luck.
Giver her an ultamatum. She will probably be upset with you but it will tell you if you need to move on or not. If she doesn't want to come back in a few days, you have your answer. Good luck.