How can I help my wife deal with our two-year old daughter?

My wife and I have a two-year old daughter. I think she is largely well-behaved (for a two year old). But she definitely whines, throws tantrums, and is disagreeable several times a day. I can handle it pretty well by either ignoring the behavior or trying to find other ways to deal. My wife, however, is at her wits end --- sighing all day, rolling her eyes, calling me complaining how awful it is.





I don't want her to feel this way about her daughter. In crude terms, I want her to ';lighten up';. Are there good books, or should I recommend a therapist or what? She should enjoy her child, not be continually annoyed and frustrated with her.How can I help my wife deal with our two-year old daughter?
You just to need to help your wife learn how to cope with these temper tantrums...they can be frustrating (I know, I am a single mother with a 2-1/2 year old), but the best thing is to just redirect or distract the child. Find more things to do with your child, she could be bored, hungry, tired, or they just get frustrated because (as I read in a book by a therapist) their little brains are ahead of their speech and they themselves get frustrated that they can't speak what it is that they want (in laymen's terms). A book may help your wife to understand better why your little girl throws these tantrums and whines, which by the way is another hard thing to deal with. For me, it sure helped me to understand why my daughter is doing these things and it made it 10 times easier for me to get less frustrated. If she can understand that this sweet little girl is herself frustrated, it may help her to come up with other solutions for your daughter that she wouldn't have otherwise thought of! Good luck to you, your wife, and your daughter!How can I help my wife deal with our two-year old daughter?
Meanersbeaners is absolutely right. I am the mother of a two yr old girl, and I was unable to let things go and lighten up until I read a little about it. She has got to understand WHY your daughter acts like she does, and that's simply her age. She needs to understand that your daughter's mind is undeveloped. There are just certain things that are impossible for toddlers to grasp at this point. I think the link below is actually the one I found that helped me the most.
I am a SAHM mom too with a 2 yr old and 1 yr old and my daughters do the same thing until daddy gets home - honestly the only way is to let her get a break - when I have had a break for a day or even less we interact a lot better. so just make sure she gets a break every week and you two do something together even if its at home. and when you are home if mommy tells her something and she doesn't mind help to get her to mind but make sure she realizes its not just you shes minding but mommy too
She needs to relax. 2 year olds like to test there limits. She needs to maybe take her daughter out to play maybe there inside to much plus if your daughter is noticing the anger in your wife she will just act out more.
Lighten up?? You try hanging out with a toddler all day long....pfft.... how about you offer to stay with your kid for the entire weekend and let your wife go visit friends and family...we'll see how ';light'; you feel then...lol.
Come home and take over the child caring, give your wife several hours off.
i say let her have a day off w/o the daughter adnu watch her. ur wife probably just needs a break for a day
What about a parenting class? Not only would it help with the behaviour but also to meet other parents who are the same boat. Parenting is the hardest job in the world so some education, advice and support is bound to help. Also not being hard on your wife but is there something else going on?? I would approach her when life is quiet (maybe get a baby sitter and go out) and ask her if anything is bothering her. Just make sure you approach with compassion and not blame. My patience with my 18month old son is very dependent on the other stress in my life. Hope you get some decent advice on here, good luck!
You might want to consider the source of the child's behavior. Maybe the daycare is not doing enough. It sounds to me like Mom just needs a break from her daily routine. Try taking her out, hire a sitter, and allow her to open up about what is going on at home. Children can be overbearing, even if there are 2 parents involved. I'm sure once you have a talk with her, and get from her what bothers her so much, things will smooth out in the end. I don't read books or watch DVDs telling me how to raise my 4 year old, I just live through the experience and get a little help from family and friends when and where needed.
You are experiencing the terrible twos. You will live through it. I do feel that you need to be aware that she is in day care away from you both for a certain amount of time. When she comes home she needs you both to be there for her. She needs the love and comfort of home and parents. I know when you all get home it is a busy time; however, maybe one of you can start dinner while the other plays with your daughter. Ignoring her will make the matters worse. Children misbehave to get attention. You need to be patient and calm when dealing with her. She needs her boundaries established and she will try to push those boundaries. Your wife and you need to agree on how to handle her tantrums and stay firm. There is little discipline in daycare. The terrible twos want to establish their independence and push the limits to see how far they can go. This is why boundaries are so important and to be firm about them. Also, make sure you have a routine at night that stays pretty much the same. You make dinner, eat together, one does dishes and cleans up, the other gives your daughter a bath and gets her ready for bed. Then, play with her or read her a bed time story. Make sure you both tuck her in and kiss her good night. Routine and boundaries should help all of you. Good luck and enjoy her every day.
Sounds like me several months ago with my two year old son. Until I started reading up on toddlers, and reading why they are the way they are. Before you can understand a toddler, you have to read the literature out there. Lots of times they tell you to ignore their tantrums, attitudes, and mean behavior (unless it is physical of course) but I can see where you wife is coming from there is nothing worse than a bossy, misbehaving child. However, the attitude she possesses over it will only make her child worse. She needs to lay down the ground rules now, maybe set up a behavior chart, and be consistent in punishing her when she is acting out, or ignoring her. Some parents punish, some parents ignore it's up to the parent and the action inflicted by the child as to which is best. She is having a hard time, so be patient she will come around.