You aren't sure because you haven't been through it yet, but you will be fine. I promise.
It sucks and some days are harder than others but you will get through it. It's really important for you to find a lot of things to keep you busy. I suggest scheduling things to do even before he leaves. That way you won't be temped to lay around and get depressed, which is easy to do. It's especially hard in the winter months if you live somewhere that is cold and it's hard to get out some days.
If you don't have a job, get one. Even if it's part time.
Take classes at a college. Even if they are fun ones that don't have credit.
Join a club.
Make lunch dates with family members and girlfriends.
Have an old fashioned slumber party with your girlfriends.
Make one day a week your movie night where you go see a movie. Take up golf or some other sport that you like.
Join a gym and work out religiously.
Get a Netflix account and watch every movie you ever wanted to see. Get on here and advise people.
Make videos and pictures to send to your husband.
Write him long love letters.
Make a calender and cross off the days as they pass.
You don't have to be strong all the time. Some days are going to suck, especially in the beginning. Find someone who understands (his sister or mom or a friend you have in the same situation) that you can vent to.How do military wives deal with this!?
First get to be friends with other military wives, they will be your rock and help you deal with a lot. My husband is ex military he was in an elite group it scared the hell out of me. But I had to say focus, I wanted him to come home, safe to me after his assignments. He always told me it meant alot knowing I would make his homecoming special. It's like having a honeymoon every time they come home. When your worried or not sure how to handle things count on your female friends you will find strength you never knew you had.
Hey hun, thru three deployments and btw I'm on 23... I've gone thru this alone a newly married, pregnant, and once with a little one...each time I have cried more than I like to admit, and over the silliest things!! I've snapped on random people who I believed to be incredibly insensitive to my situation. I've had some moments each time that I'm still amazed about, I gave birth alone :( its all scary and you honestly believe that you can't do it another day, but if you can manage thru that initial day, you can get thru the rest you'll see you're stronger than most even on your weakest day. ADVISE!!! Get a routine, get a routine, get a routine... Your bf will have one too, and it can reassure you and him you can do this. Seems simple but yes eat breakfast a certain time of day, get in the shower, read a book, take a drive create list on what to do that day, that week, that month.. Promise that is all the advise I have after three deployments. There aren't any secrets.
Maybe you should reconsider if being with someone in the military who will be away is for you. Sounds hard to walk away from but in the long run overall it may be better for your mental well-being. It takes a strong person to be married to someone in the military who will be away a lot.
Take up a hobby... make friends with other military wives... they understand what you are going through. Just take it day by day. I am in the military as well as a military wife. So if you need a friend...
It is not easy but it is not impossible either. Lots of letters, emails, phone cards and pictures. Stay Strong. Never be afraid to ask for help.
1 rule. Stay strong and positive around him. Be supportive even if you feel differently. Take up a hobby of sorts and look forward to his return. You have a long time to get settled before he leaves and a long time to keep busy. Have girlfriends around you and send him lots of positive love letters. NEVER send him bad news! Positive thoughts cause positive actions.
ITS HARD TO BE ALONE BUT YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG NOT ONLY FOR YOU BUT FOR HIM. HE GOING TO COUNT ON YOU FOR SUPPORT AND HE WILL GIVE IT BACK IN RETURN IF THE LOVE IS STRONG ITS NO PROBLEM.
I JUST GOT BACK MYSELF, SO I KNOW,
YOU SHOULD SET UP A SET TIME AND DAYS TO CALL WERE HE KNOW THAT YOU'LL BE WAITING FOR HIS CALL AND ALWAYS BE LOVIN, HE WILL NEED THAT.
DONT BE AFFRAID TO SEND A CARE PACKAGE FOR HIM ONCE AND A WHILE WITHOUT HIM KNOWING, IT WILL MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS TO SEE THAT YOU SEND HIM SOMETHING AND THAT YOU THOUGHT OF HIM. HE WILL DO IN RETURN, IT MAKE A STRONG RELATIONSHIP STRONGER KNOWING THAT THE OTHER PERSON IS THERE FOR YOU.
same thing happened with my sister....she was so sad all the time so our family really helped her through to get her mind off of it such as going out to places more and not sitting and home :)
congrats on ur marige :)
my suggestion is: pray often for his safety and your sanity. get involved in your church. you'll need a good support system. *hugs*
Maybe you should wait until you know that you will be OK before marrying him. Marriage is hard enough and so I war.
Have friends and family that both of you know to spend time with and enjoy the company of.
rd
No comments:
Post a Comment