Separation/Divorce Wife just cant make up her mind...?

Heres the deal. Wife left me back in August last year. (married 10 yrs.) Ended up getting involved with a guy 12 years her senior ( she is 38, he is 50). She basically just moved into his house from my house.





Some history of wife: Her grandmother was divorced 3 times, her mother was divorced 3 times (town whore) and now the wife will be divorced 3 times. She has never known any different that how she was raised.


Over the past 2 months, wife and I have been getting closer in the frienship department, and she is now realizing that she says she still has feelings for me. That she has made many mistakes too. She found out that the grass wasnt as green on the other side. The man she was living with for 3 months has teporiarily moved away ( but will be coming back 4 months from now) she now has her own place. We also have a 10 year old boy together.





She says she cant make up her mind on what she wants to do. Why are women not able to make up there mind?


I took my vows seriously and obvious she didnt. I just picked up my boy this morning and he told me that her boyfriend had called over the weekend and when she said good bye on the phone, she said ';I love you'; to him. Meanwhile, last week when the soon to be ';ex'; and I went out, I was kissing her good night in the car.


It is obvious that she doesnt know what to do or what direction to take her life. I have ALWAYS been there for her and she knows I still love her and am able to forgive her for being with another man. My faith in GOD is strong. I am trying to give her some time to figure things out for herself. I guess my question is, to those women that understand this, am I being played for a fool?





She says there are times that she wants to be with me and times she wants to be alone, or with someone else. Another thing is she says she wants to find out if she can still be in love with me and if it ';seems right'; I have loved this woman with all my heart, I have also been on a very large rollercoaster emotionally. We have already been though a marriage counselor too.





We do have an appointment with my pastor about this situation, hoping for some guidance, but, please give me your thoughts about this situation. ThanksSeparation/Divorce Wife just cant make up her mind...?
I honestly think she is playing you for a fool...because you keep accommodating her. I would too, if you let me...





There are days when I can't stand my hubby. I get sooo upset at him that I feel like I don't want to be with him any longer. I think it ..fantasize even but then I get over it. I am sure he gets these days also, about not wanting to be around me. That doesn't mean that I leave and move in with another man...that is crazy and your wife is showing a strong lack of morals. You sound like a decent man who is being dealt the wrong hand. Let her go...she is not the one for you. Give someone else a chance...she will keep doing this as long as you keep letting her, like you are doing.





Good Luck.Separation/Divorce Wife just cant make up her mind...?
Ok, I got to about the second paragraph before wanting to knock you in the head.





Here is the scenario. She is keeping you on the line for a back up policy. My guess is that the old guy shes with now isnt too committed to her, or isnt giving her what she thought he was going to. You yourself even admit that she might be thinking ';the grass wasnt greener';.





Why would you want someone who is always even looking at the other grass? This is not someone you want any thing to do with dude. I had a wife like this, and now I have an ex-wife.





Here is a tip. Next time you find a woman and you get ready to hand her a ring, if she has been divorced more then once, and any one in her immediate previous generation (her mother or father, especially her mother), has been divorced more then once, just move on.





You are exactly right, if a person grows up seeing that divorce is the easy way out, and checking out the grass on the other side is perfectly ok, they will have no problem participating in that behavior as an adult.
I guess the world isn't a small place after all.


Join the gang, brother.


This is deja-vu. Let me give you a quick tour of my marriage.


I was recently married and my marriage lasted for 8 months. Ofcourse, we didnt have kids nor was she pregnant, but she moved out of my home 2 months ago. Today is supposed to be our 1st Wedding anniversary, she has not called and she is supposed to be happy, but she keeps spreading malicious statements that I had an affair immediately after marriage and that i threw her out in the middle of the night and since she didnt have any where to go, she called him and moved with him. Of course me and a few other people know what the truth is. She was cheating on me emotionally, and it didnt take long for me to catch them. I dont know how physical they might be, but she moved out and thats Phase 1.


Now, i have tried to kill myself, tried to just cease living, but God was not ready to let me die so soon. And trust me, there was a mysterious force that was stopping me from doing anything to myself that I would have regretted.


But what happened is what is the most amazing part.


I got close to God.


Now I aint a Saint and had tons of sin against me, but the moment I opened up to Him and asked Him to enter my Soul, I could actually feel real light, and a peace that I have not experienced.


It was all smooth sailing after this.


I stumbled across 'www.stopyourdivorce.com' and this changed my life.


Follow the advice that is given to the T and you can be sure that she will come calling back.


Why did she do it? She obviously has very low self esteem and this other guy was pampering it. Obviously he aint going to be as patient as you are. He aint going to be as tolerant as you have been and she is very soon going to come calling back to you. Trust me on this.


Meanwhile, you have a life to live, Create a 'bucket list' of things that you want to do before you 'hit the bucket'.





Remember: one last thing if you are in doubt how/what you will need to do if and when she comes back: Corinthians chapter 13. (In my own words) '...Love is all forgiving and never remembers any evil...'


If what you have is True Love, then it forgives all and is all encompassing and will never remember any thing bad against it.





Ask Christ if this is His Will and if He says it is His Will that she comes back to you, then trust Him to be able to deliver it, no matter what..
Hi mate, you don't sound like you deserve this sort of hassle. I went through a spell when my wife and I had some tough times. I must admit it never involved another woman but when we went for counselling it was as if you where being told what to do and words where put in your mouth. I actually found a marriage guidance site (link below) where I learned to understand situations a lot more and therefore could make more rational decisions about what we both wanted and we are still together today. I don't know what chances your wife deserves but maybe she is genuinely strained as to what she wants and I just thought this might help both of you make the right decisions.
i think that you have waited long eno0ugh and that she is playing you for a fool...you sound like a great man take that love and give it to someone who deserves it...you have done everything right and everythimg you could sometimes there is just no changing certain people...sorry..and good luck